a better way

Today is a holiday from school, with much joy in the house as my children spend time together in ways that school days do not allow (alas, I miss this about homeschooling!)  Eric and I have been busy with errands and Thanksgiving preparations, and I've been guiding the kids into a few activities I know will bless others.  And the tension begins to build as Josiah grows frustrated with some of his tasks, usually expressed in disapproval over the way I am doing things.  This is a small reminder of how his mind processes life and tries to make sense of so much extra sensory "noise" by insisting on order and his own, often narrow way of thinking. 

Having my youngest in school has put a buffer between us that is much appreciated.  He has a teacher telling him what to do all day, and because she is the teacher guiding children in a highly structured environment, he gladly and humbly obliges (at least so far as I can tell).  When he gets home and it is mom doing the directing, he bristles, hems and haws, and otherwise makes it clear that if he were in charge, this or that would not be done in this way.  Because his teacher is the authority and there is uniformity in his day he trusts her, but somehow he's not quite sure he should feel the same way about mom's instructions in the more unstructured setting of our home.

However, at one point this morning while I was making his gluten free rolls, I saw a glimmer of something else, something that gave me hope.  He eyed my yeast and water mixture with great suspicion, started to protest the process, and then took a deep breath.

"Ok, Mom.  I trust you."  He patted me and walked away with a smile.

Once again, I am humbled by a little boy and the way the need for order and control in his life mirror my own.  How often do I look at the things God is doing in my life, see the chaos that seems to characterize my own existence, and try to insist that He do things my way?  That somehow, my plans would turn out infinitely better...(deep breath) than they would with the God of wisdom sovereignly working out His great purposes in ways I could never improve upon.

"Have Your way, Lord.  I trust you."

this moment in time

It's so hard to find time these days to blog, but today I'm trying.  Here's a glimpse into my children's lives in this busy season of one in elementary, one in junior high, and one in high school!

Micah: relishes playing trumpet with great improvement shown with no braces, found soccer was not for him, enjoying high school with band and lunch his favorite times of the day, two more months until driver's education begins, pizza, youth group, missions-minded, hugs, delightful, cowboy hat, black or gray, technology class, misses homeschooling, music

Rachel: writing, writing, writing!, stuffed animals, braces, Siberia and Siberian Huskies, cousin Anna, cell phone, art projects, broken toe, tacos, chocolate, youth group, worship team, piano and clarinet but "mom please can I stop playing clarinet?," science classes at the discovery museum, little girl turning young woman

Josiah: school is awesome!, science and astronomy, dogs and cats, pizza, Star Wars, library, reading books, Garfield and Calvin and Hobbes, music, embracing every day with enthusiasm, turquoise, making friends, loving Jesus, hugs, archery, Playmobil, growing up in so many ways

in full swing

Since it has been almost a month since my last post, I just thought I would provide a quick update.

Micah is enjoying high school.  At the last soccer practice before his first game, he broke his pinky and is in a cast and then a splint for 6 weeks, cutting his season quite short.  Although it is a bit frustrating, he's had a terrific attitude and is serving his team from the sidelines.  He says he does not care to do soccer again, not because of the injury but because he has realized how good the other players are.  (He may have had potential as a goalie but finds the footwork challenging.)  This is the time to find out what he likes and doesn't!  This week he stayed after school for an outdoor adventure club hosted by his math teacher who is in the army.  Their first activity is paintballing.  My guess is that is something Micah will like!

Rachel has settled into her school routine and loves her studies so far.  It took us both about a week to learn a new way of doing things, but now it feels very comfortable and she is able to work fairly independently in most areas.  Saxon math is going well and I'm surprised at how much we both enjoy it, but should have known their systematic way of doing things would click for her.  When she's done with school she goes off on her own to write stories.  I love seeing Rachel's creative side!

Josiah loves school--what a blessing!  He comes home very excited every day, telling me the things he's done and learned.  I am seeing so many changes in how he behaves at home now that he's being kept busy and having more stimulation throughout his day.  He seems to thrive on a fast pace,  but he's always had challenges in what to do with his free time since imaginative play is so difficult for him.  It's been encouraging to see his papers come home and have a glimpse at how quickly he's picking up writing and math.  The school is collecting data to see what kind of help he may need, but so far his teacher reports that he's been doing great!

All three kids are in BSF this year thanks to a friend who offered to take them to the evening women's class.  It's going to be a blessing to study Matthew with them!

soccer!

It seems I must give equal time to all 3 kids tonight, so my addition for Micah is this: he made the JV soccer team at West.  Go Wildcats!  There are several home games this season.  Feel free to come cheer him on!!

just me and my daughter

 I'm experiencing more emotions than I can count as we anticipate the start of a new school year and the boys heading off to public school.  However, almost lost in the shadow of all the details of shopping for school supplies, having my youngest start school the same year the oldest begins high school, registration, and school meetings is one very special fact: I have Rachel all to myself this year!

 

 

We moved her desk upstairs and right in front of the window per her request.  I can see why she would like this spot and may have to steal it from her someday.  Will the desk ever look that clean again in the next 9 months?

 

It was really hard to choose where to place Rachel in the Heart of Dakota curriculum, as studying ancient history intertwined with Biblical history was so tempting.  However, in the end it made the most sense to go with the middle ages because that is a better reflection of where she fits skill-wise. She also jumped at this study since it includes a Shakespeare unit: that means theater!! Since HOD is a 4 day a week program, we have time to read The Mystery of History: Creation to Christ on Fridays.  The best of both worlds, so long as she can keep it straight in her head.  Timelines will help.

 

Josiah is off to Grandma and Grandpa's house for 3 days, so Rachel and I are jumping in with half days this week.  The curriculum is a lot like Sonlight (what we have used the past 2 years) in terms of being literature-rich, but very different with more hands on and writing/narrating/reflecting on what is being read.  Almost everything we are doing this year is new: we are trying Saxon math and a different Spanish program, too. I'm anxious to see how it goes!  But also wondering how summer ended so quickly...

getting ready for school

It's been a wonderfully busy summer.  The kids found their niche in activities they enjoyed, we spent plentiful time with the neighbors (much of it poolside while our kids had swim lessons together), and we had a fun family trip to top things off this past weekend.  It's so hard to believe school starts in less than a week!

To give an update on Josiah, the private school where we had planned to enroll him called me mid-summer and asked to set up a meeting ASAP.  I had a sinking, empty feeling in my stomach about what was about to transpire.  After receiving his evaluation from the psychologist, they recommended switching him to public school as an opportunity to have a strong start and receive more services.  It was a time of learning something of God's wisdom being greater than my own, and humility in having to undergo such a meeting at all, swallowing all my "but you don't even know him yet..." comments.  Yet through it there was a calm assurance that God is sovereign as He leads in this journey, and as always He can be trusted.

Our initial meetings with our local public school have been nothing short of incredible.  The principal was on the phone welcoming me within hours after I emailed her, and she has done everything she can to make us feel at home.  The sensory room at Josiah's school is top notch (wish I had one here!) and he will have access to the help he needs from his first day with adjustments and an IEP meeting as needed once he has a few weeks of school under his belt.  I still have some jitters about how things will go, but have seen so many ways God has been working in preparing both Josiah and his mommy for the days ahead.

Another help this summer has been the start of occupational services through Easter Seals.  Our OT has been wonderful and Josiah has responded well to the Alert program she is using with him.  His "engine" (body speed) tends to run a bit on the fast side most of the time, and together we are implementing strategies to help him become more aware of his body and tools he can use to slow things down. I am learning words like "proprioceptive" (input to muscles) and "vestibular" (having to do with balance), and why swimming and gymnastics seem to be such favorites.  His body craves the input those activities give him!!

It's a humbling experience to parent a child with special needs, and even more humbling when having to work with others regarding his educational plan.  I think back to the days when I worked as a special education teacher and wish I knew then what I do now about how it feels to be on the other side of the table.  In the midst of it all is a child who is precious, made in God's image and just the way He intended him to be this side of heaven.  That of course doesn't mean we aren't going to do everything we can to help him learn to live with and manage some challenges. 

Please pray for us, especially Josiah, on this journey!  We so appreciate it.

banana oatmeal breakfast cookies

There is a whole lot of summer fun happening at the Rhodes' house, which is one reason I seem to find less and less time to spend blogging.  But this recipe is worth keeping in a safe place and sharing with others!

Rachel recently returned from a 6 day youth trip to the upper peninsula of Michigan.  It was so good for her to get away with her peers to serve God and deepen relationships, but it was also a good way for her to learn how to work around her food issues.  With a lot of detective work behind us, we've found that there are several foods that trigger IBS symptoms including table and fruit sugars, and corn.  She also seems to do best for now with a gluten and dairy free diet.  So we packed up a cooler and sent her on her way with foods she could easily grab and warm up.

Breakfast was a puzzle for me until we sampled this breakfast cookie recipe at our annual neighborhood Fourth of July party.  While waiting for a friend to send me the banana version, I made some with pumpkin and blueberries to send on her trip.  As you read this recipe, remember it came to me without any substitutions, so would be fine as is for those who don't need to make any.  We substitute coconut sugar for regular sugar because that seems to be much easier on Rachel's tummy, and of course use coconut milk instead of regular milk.  She enjoyed the pumpkin version, but this banana recipe just can't be beat!  We would have sent these, too, but an experiment with adding dark chocolate did not settle well for my daughter.  We're trying again today without the chocolate, and I'm enjoying the aroma of a freshly baked batch right now!!

Banana Oatmeal Breakfast Cookies

• 3 cups quick cooking oats (can use gluten free)
• 1/2 cup brown sugar (or coconut sugar)
• 1/2 cup milk (or milk substitute)
• 2 tablespoons butter, melted
• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons vanilla
• 3/4 cup mashed banana or about 3 bananas
• 1/2 cup chocolate chips, raisins, or dried cranberries - optional (I think adding any fresh berry would be wonderful, too!)

1. Mix all ingredients together and stir well.
2. Drop by the spoonful onto greased sheet or mini muffin tin.
3. Bake at 350 for 10 - 20 minutes depending on size of cookie.
4. Enjoy!

at the extreme risk of sounding like a commercial

Our family is loving Zipzicles!  There are some great recipes on their website.  We've tried pureed frozen cantaloupe (which my kids won't touch but somehow frozen makes it different), and the Spinach Surprise.  So much better than the dye-filled and artificially flavored alternative! 

handwriting tricks

 I've been trying Dianne Craft's handwriting therapy with Josiah, and within four weeks we saw glimpses that it was starting to pay off!  This is pretty fuzzy thanks to the phone pictures, but here's a before and after.  The biggest change for him seems to be that writing his letters is more automatic.  The fluidity seems to be transferring from his brain to his pencil!  There are less reversals happening, too.  Another trick I learned recently for "b" and "d" is to have the child pretend that the "b" starts like a bomb dropping from the sky and then explodes into a circle, and the "d" begins with a dog's face and ends with his tail.  It seems to help!  That's not to say we don't have a long way to go, but it's encouraging to get this far so quickly.

 

Yes, it's summer, and yes, we're doing school, but just a little bit.  The funny thing is that before we can do handwriting, Josiah insists on doing everything else, too.  That means we are reading science, history, Bible, doing a finger play, and read aloud all before we do the one thing I wanted him to do that day: handwriting.  Well, worse things have happened.

 

In spite of the Abeka pages, which I used only to compare now to then, I've continued to find Handwriting Without Tears is an effective curriculum for Josiah.  He really remembers the picture cues they give to form each letter.

 

God is faithful to care for our needs, even looking after small details like a young boy's handwriting.  We are so thankful for His love and help!  He so often sends it in ways I don't expect.

 

looking to God

"Our desire, therefore, is not that we might be without trials of faith, but that the Lord graciously would be pleased to support us in the trial, that we might not dishonor Him by distrust."

George Muller, 1840

wisdom in pictures

 

The most popular person is always the one who brings the food.

 

There is nothing like silence and reflection to refresh the soul.

 

Follow in the path of someone wiser, but don't be afraid to be yourself in the journey.

 

Looking up can give a whole new perspective.

 

There are discoveries if you just dig for them.

 

There is no limit to what you can do with cardboard boxes, stuffed animals, and imagination.

 

 

 Play is always more fun when in the company of others.

uncovering a talent

 

 

Ending a great week of camp with awards...these counselors were amazing!

 

"The greatest archery award goes to: Josiah

June 7, 2013"

look again

Josiah has had a terrific week at Camp Takoda, the autism camp hosted by Easter Seals and run by the Autism Society of McLean County.

For good or for bad, I had my hesitations about signing him up, wondering what kinds of behaviors he might imitate or how he would feel about being identified with other kids who were at all ranges of the spectrum.  Before even getting out of the car on our first day of camp, I quickly spotted a camper with a helmet to protect himself from self-injurious behaviors, and walked past children who were humming, rocking, and engaging in self-stimulating behavior.  Counselors wore T-shirts highlighting the symptoms of autism.  One sported a pink shirt with the caption, "start seeing autism."  When I saw my son settled with a friendly group of boys about his age, I felt better and bid him the farewell he was so anxious to get out of the way so he could get on to his day.

Each afternoon Josiah came home from camp talking about the exciting things he had done: the boat rides, the fishing, being afraid of the zipline, the bulls-eyes he made in archery, shooting a BB gun for the first time, the water games, and a scavenger hunt.  What a week of FUN he has had!  He has also shared with enthusiasm the names of the boys he has made friends with.  There have been no questions about anyone's behavior, no wondering why he is at camp with children who may act a little differently (or very differently!) than what he may normally see.  And last night, as I pondered his week and how he has responded, it hit me why.

When Josiah looks at his new friends, his untrained eyes do not see autism.  He sees children with names, particular likes and dislikes, who say things that make him laugh and have shared his exciting adventures.  He sees KIDS. 

I also can't remember when I have seen so many parents gaze upon their children with such looks of love, parents who have learned the lesson Josiah's innocence has taught me this week. Surely, there are times when we need to stop seeing autism.

"For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."  1 Samuel 16:7

new addition

Cats are like potato chips...you can't just have one.

 

 

Meet Legolas (Lego for short), our 16 week old male tabby.  He is as sweet and affectionate as can be.  So far Prisma is not amused.

candied nuts

A friend served these nuts at a party this week, and they were so delicious I asked her for the recipe.  She makes them in her stir crazy popcorn popper!  Since we only own an air popper, I tried them in a saucepan on the stove top today and they turned out great.  They make a nice GFCF treat with the extra advantage of getting nuts into otherwise picky children--a little protein with the sugar.  If you want to reduce the sugar to 1/3 or even 1/4 cup (along with the water), I think the recipe would still work.

Candied Nuts
1/2 c. sugar
1 t. cinnamon
1 C. nuts (walnuts, pecans, almonds--FG stage 2, etc.)
1/8 c. water

Melt ingredients on stove top or in stir crazy popcorn popper until sticky crystals begin to form.  Spread on waxed paper and let dry.  Store in airtight container.

learning curve

 

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer..." Romans 12:12

 

Two months have passed since we received Josiah's diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome.  There has been time to read, observe, reflect, and implement.  Much of it has been a time of waiting, and more waiting, to receive therapy.  Most of all, it is a time to pray and ask God to make our hearts open to things He has for our lives.

So what about the ASD (autism spectrum disorder) diagnosis?  There is so much there I could not see before, but am noticing with opened eyes.  Inconsistent eye contact, impaired play (which we noticed but now understand a little better), desire for sameness, pronounced sensory issues, some social skills difficulty, and some dysgraphia all point to a correct diagnosis.  We still feel his symptoms are mild but there are many challenges we look forward to helping him overcome or at least manage through therapy.  He's on the waiting list for a social skills program and speech services through ISU that should begin this fall, and he will begin occupational therapy to target sensory issues sometime this summer.  Next week he gets to go to a day camp through our county's autism society and Easter Seals that sounds like a ton of fun!!

At my husband's request, I contacted the private school where Micah and Rachel spent their early elementary years.  That was when we saw God had gone before us: they have hired a special education teacher who seems like she will be a great resource in meeting some of Josiah's special academic and social needs.  Josiah spent part of an afternoon visiting the first grade class, loved it, and is going to try first grade there next fall.  The class he will be in is small and looks to be fairly full of little boys!  We are looking forward to the social interactions school will afford him--not from a homeschooling standpoint as much as an ASD standpoint.  While I can see pros and cons to homeschooling versus going to school, this is how we sense God is leading at this time. 

As parents, we want to embrace all God has brought us.  The years since we have added Josiah to our family have been challenging but also full of His grace.  A few months ago we saw glimpses of what life would be like if we didn't have the dietary tools He has placed in our hands: most certainly we would not call Josiah's symptoms mild.  Instead what we saw briefly was a little boy out of control.  To think of where we could be makes me so much more thankful for where we are through many answers to prayer--both others on our behalf as well as our own pleas for help.

The best gift I know to give Josiah is my love.  Whether it is spending a Saturday making homemade gluten free, casein free, additive free (and the list goes on) food, or patiently (I hope!) redirecting him when he gets "stuck" while playing with his friends, or laying aside my desire for time alone to come up with a new way to keep him entertained in play, my prayer is that my own response as his mom would not be one of complaint but gratitude.  I say it is my prayer, because I am much in need of my Potter to shape a clay that is yielded instead of stubbornly set in my own way. There are struggles to parenting any child; what I face are just the unique difficulties in meeting the special needs of this particular one.  Somehow, I trust God can continue to give me a greater heart of compassion for my special little boy, and perhaps words to encourage others who walk through similar challenges.  So each morning I take a deep breath, offer up a heart that has yet to be perfected in love, and walk through the day with a Father willing to teach me more of His compassion.  Josiah is a gift to us, and we know God's ways are good.

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life" John 9:3 

family fun!

Every summer, Eric's family chooses a day or more to spend together doing something fun.  Some years we've done as little as watch the fourth of July parade and fireworks in Rockford (the best we've seen in Illinois!), others have meant something a little more involved.  It seems like every few years we end up at an indoor waterpark in Wisconsin Dells.  After doing this since our kids were quite small (there was a time Micah was the only one of our three around), we have come to treasure these times.  My oldest niece and nephew are now young adults, and finding a date we can all be together is getting tougher.  It's a blessing when it happens!

 

 

This year we had a small picture of how wonderfully God redeems.  Last time we were at this hotel in the Dells, Josiah was having the toughest summer of his life.  He was miserable the entire time, terrified of being in the water and overwhelmed by the sensory stimulation.

 

As you can see, this time was quite different!

 

Our youngest niece in this family is 9, and is having a great time with her uncle!!

These two girls are only 9 months apart.  I like to say that A was our inspiration for having Rachel. :)  They were overjoyed to discover that they had matching swimsuits and were often mistaken as sisters.  Inseparable, those two!!

 

Rachel conquered the Hurricane!

 

Getting ready to disembark so they can go again, and again, and again.  I've been on this ride once and will never go again.

 

Favorite spot to congregate: the hot tub!  Micah moved too fast to get many good pictures of him.  He rode every slide there was to ride.

 

Grandma is watching in the background.  In all the years they have treated us, she's barely made it into a swimsuit.  Eric's parents give me a whole new appreciation for what it means to have a blast watching others have fun.

 

That blur is Josiah, who worked up courage for a waterslide just his size.

 

Again, and again, and again.

Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew

The book is a great read for parents, family members, educators, or anyone else who desires to better understand autism.  This list is the next best thing.

swimmer with Asperger's

Our hearts were encouraged to see this article in our newspaper today.  Way to go, Josh!  I wish you knew what your story and faith means to our family.

Josiah and spring

 

It's been that kind of spring, which happily means the drought of last year seems to be fading, but sadly means we have seen dear friends struggle with flooding.  And of course it means that even the nice shoes are now muddy!

 

He's got farmer in his bloodline.

 

Apparently farmers don't eat vegetables, but maybe growing them ourselves will be a new motivation.

 

Now that he's discovered he can read, he has opted for a daily dose of the best literature he can find: Calvin and Hobbes.

eye opening

Last night I was on the Chosen Families blog reading one of my favorite authors, Sarah, who has two sons with ASD (autism spectrum disorder.)  She mentioned this You Tube video that simulates what it is like for a person with autism or ASD to walk down the street.  Wow.

no arguing that point

 

"My dad is the best dad in the whole wide world and no one I repeat no one can change that!"-Rachel

 

Happy birthday to the best dad in the whole world, at least at our house.

when autism hits home

This year is not the first year I have posted information about Autism Awareness Month, as this disorder has a special place in my heart.  An interest in autism is what drew me into the field of special education over 20 years ago, and I have watched with alarm as the incidence has grown from 1 in 10,000 then to a recently reported 1 in 50 today.  What I didn't know was how the bulls eye caused by the rise in incidence would someday zero in on our family.

Doing kindergarten with Josiah this year has been a blessing in so many ways.  The structure of our school days, using workboxes and picture schedules (clues?), and watching him learn to read and soak in science and math has been a joy.  Our youngest is growing by leaps and bounds, and has many gifts.  He has come so far in the 2 1/2 years since he was identified as having ADHD and we started the Feingold diet, and even more since we eventually tried the gluten and casein free diet.  Temper tantrums, aggressive behavior, and anxiety have all subsided and given way to symptoms that continue to remain but are highly manageable.  My concern for him has waxed and waned over the years as there have been times I've felt Josiah's functioning was fairly typical and other times when I've seen things pop up that are concerning.

It wasn't until very recently the concept of Josiah actually having autism began to cross my mind.  We were in the midst of what I wanted to call a "reevaluation," simply another look at what is really going on with my boy who continues to grow in bursts and starts through challenges and victories.  As we discussed our lingering concerns with the psychologist who would be evaluating him, I began to sense there was something deeper there.

Something that might explain:

-why he has always had so much trouble with imaginative play, especially when he's alone. 

-why toys like Imaginext do seem to draw him in a bit more than other toys, after he has watched the video and has a script in his mind to follow while playing with them. 

-why he does play so well with his sister, because she can scaffold a story for him which allows him to join in where he can find places in the story line that fit into his imagination.

-why Josiah has melt downs over little things like backing out of the driveway before he gets his seatbelt on, having a clean spoon for every new food on his plate, and other seemingly insignificant battles that mean the world stays nicely ordered for him.

-why he constantly crashes into the couch, kisses us in passing on our legs with all his might, presses himself into the dog, hugs complete strangers, spins around at least 10 times a day, and flaps his hands when he gets excited.  (Interestingly enough, his sensory issues wax and wane quite a bit depending on how he is eating and what supplements he may be taking, leading me to continue to believe that the gut plays a huge role in autism symptoms.)

-why he has trouble understanding personal boundaries and finds it difficult to track when standing in line or participating in group games.

-why I spend so much of my teaching time making accommodations that allow him to be successful in completing his work.

-why the most predictable and consistent aspect of every day with Josiah is its unpredictability and inconsistency.

When we met with the psychologist who tested Josiah a couple of months ago, she said she saw in him a "splash of spectrum."  He has enough symptoms to be identified as having Asperger's Syndrome, a mild form of autism.  I would venture to say that Josiah's Asperger's itself is on the mild side (again, I have to give diet credit here!) as he is a friendly little boy who is drawn to people (not aloof in his own world as some children with autism may be) but struggles with understanding social rules and boundaries, struggles with play skills and has some fairly significant sensory integration issues.  Like many children on the spectrum, he also struggles with fine motor skills and written expression.  Though he is also gifted in many areas, it is difficult for him to access the knowledge he does have stored away in his mind, leading to frustration when he knows the answer to a question but can't say it.  It is interesting how his brain sometimes makes up the difference--he has trouble with reversals which is often apparent in writing and sounding out words, yet he can already read at or above his grade level.  (It's that amazing memory that kicks in!)

And the ADHD?  Apparently many children with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) are first identified as having ADHD.  We were told, too, that it was good that Josiah was not put on medication when he was younger because it most likely would have made his symptoms worse.  I stand amazed to see more evidence of God's hand on us through this journey.

Josiah's prognosis is excellent, and we look with trepidation but also excitement at what is ahead.  There will be challenges and difficulties to overcome.  We continue to share our journey to encourage others, raise awareness, and also to help those closest to him have a little bit of a peek into his world.  God has already done great things in this little boy's life, and we continue to look to Him for wisdom as we move on from here.  We long for God's desires to guide Josiah's life.  Our prayer is that he may know God, and make Him known, giving Him glory as he learns to be the boy and then man God made him to be.  That is the supernatural dream of any Christian parent, only to be accomplished as God works in and through his life.  We greatly covet and appreciate your prayers.

seems fitting

remembering GG

Because today was her birthday.  How I wish Josiah could have known her!  They would have loved each other.

 

She was Eric's grandma, the kind of grandma who always had candy in her cupboard, games on the table, and a bed ready for anyone who wanted to spend the night.  She loved the kids, and they loved her.  I can't count the number of times I saw her with a child on her knee playing "ride the horsey," or a baby in her arms.

 

And of course, we all loved her bubble bread.  And teased that she had probably burned it.  Because she did, once, long before I knew her.  I feel privileged to have the recipe in her own handwriting.

 

 

Bubble Bread

 

24 frozen rolls thawed out at least 2 hours (She always used Rhodes rolls)

Melt 1/2 stick margarine/butter

 

Dip rolls in butter, sugar, and cinnamon.  Stagger rolls in angel food cake pan.  Let rise about 1 1/2-2 hours.  Bake at 350 for 40-45 min.  Turn upside down on plate to cool.  Frost with powdered sugar frosting.

 

For a gluten free version, I'm going to try using Pamela's bread mix for the rolls, and will update if it works!

two in braces

 

Though we are hoping one is almost done!!

incidence of autism continues to rise

The incidence of autism is rising, and only part of that can be explained by greater awareness.  Please read this link to an article in the Huffington Post.

"Today (March 21, 2013) the CDC announced a 72% increase in the diagnosis of autism over the past four years. One of every fifty children aged six years to 17 years has an autism spectrum diagnosis. Ten years ago, the number was 1/150.

The previous two decades saw a 600% increase in autism diagnosis and experts have said that 200% of that could be attributed to better diagnosis and more awareness of autism but the other 400% was caused by changes in genetics and environmental impact on genetics."

April is Autism Awareness Month

The newest autism statistics were released just over a week ago.  There are now 1 in 50 children on the spectrum, and 1 in 31 boys are now affected.  That is a 72% increase in the past 4 years.

 

Facts about autism, and these are a few years old:

 

As many as 1.5 million Americans today are believed to have some form of autism.

Based on statistics from the U.S. Department of Education and other governmental agencies, autism is growing at a rate of 10-17% per year. At these rates, it is estimated that the prevalence of autism could reach four million Americans in the next decade.

The United States spends $90 billion per year to provide care for the country's 1.5 million autistic children and adults. The Autism Society of America estimates that costs could balloon to $200 billion to $400 billion by 2013.

Autism is now considered the fastest growing developmental disorder in the United States.

Autism is more common than multiple sclerosis, cystic fibrosis or childhood cancer.

Autism is the most common of the Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD), a category of neurological disorders characterized by "severe and pervasive impairment in several areas of development", including social interaction and communications skills.

Autism is a spectrum disorder.

The symptoms and characteristics of autism can present themselves in a wide variety of combinations, from mild to severe.

Autism is consistent around the globe, but is four times more prevalent in males than females.

Autism knows no racial, ethnic, or social boundaries.

Family income, lifestyle and educational levels do not affect the chance of autism's occurrence.

The age that most children start showing symptoms of autism is between 18 and 24 months.

Since autism can be reliably diagnosed as early as 18 months of age, intervention can begin during the period when the brain is most malleable.

Early intervention can result in a significant increase in IQ and language ability and a decrease in support services needed later in childhood.

No one knows exactly what causes autism in most cases, but scientists think that both genetic and environmental factors might play a role.



He is Risen!

Happy Easter!  If you have time today, this post by my friend Erin was a blessing to me and I hope to share it that it may bless others.  Easter is our reminder the story did not end at a grave, but continued beyond one.  Our Savior lives!

remembering the truth about God

There are days...

-when there is more information than I can take in

-when there are more tasks on my "to do" list than I can get to

-when life demands more strength than I have

-when the hurts here and around the world are more than I can bear

-when problems are bigger than I can solve

-when just looking at the piles on my desk or not being able to find a lost paper is enough to overwhelm an already overtaxed mind and soul

Things were never lower in Israel's history than when Jeremiah penned these words:

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'"

Waiting, resting, trusting, and knowing that when I feel burdens too big for me, it my opportunity to look to the God who is big enough.

Spring Break!

 

And no, I didn't take this picture a couple of months ago to share now.  I took it about 5 minutes ago.

 

March 25, and we have 9 inches!

Palm Sunday

Hosanna, loud hosanna

The little children sang;

Through pillared court and temple

The lovely anthem rang;

To Jesus, who had blessed them

Close folded to His breast

The children sang their praises

The simplest and the best.

 

"Hosanna, hosanna, hosanna to the King!

Hosanna, hosanna, hosanna to the King!"

 

From Olivet they followed,

Mid an exultant crowd,

The victor palm branch waving

And chanting clear and loud;

The Lord of men and angels

Rode on in lowly state,

Nor scorned that little children

Should on His bidding wait.

 

"Hosanna, hosanna, hosanna to the King!

Hosanna, hosanna, hosanna to the King!"

 

"Hosanna in the highest!"
That ancient song we sing,

For Christ is our Redeemer,

The Lord of heav'n, our King;

O may we ever praise Him

With heart and life and voice,

And in His blissful presence

Eternally rejoice!

 

"Hosanna, hosanna, hosanna to the King!

Hosanna hosanna, hosanna to the King!"

 

 

life around our house..or around the rink

There has been a recent marriage and now the feasting has begun.

Three very different children with very different interests and abilities, but all three have enjoyed ice skating lessons.  After four weeks of lessons, this girl no longer grabs the wall all the way around the rink--that's progress!!

Pretty much what he looks like in person, too...a blur.

 

And of course, the class clown.  He's really doing well, too.

 

I sit, watch, and marvel at the privilege God has given me to raise three precious children who are growing up way too fast.

Simple Woman's Daybook

 FOR TODAY: March 5, 2013

Outside my window...it is snowing and blowing.  We have had more snow in the past two weeks than the rest of winter combined.  My youngest is loving every minute he can get outside to play in it.  We're not sure how the robins and geese feel.

I am thinking...about ways to address my children's hearts.  As a homeschool mom I've found it is easy to focus on academics and behavior, when godly character is the pressing need of a child's development.

I am thankful...for a dear friend who moved back into town after six years of living out of state.  What a joy to reconnect with this sister in Christ, and in front of the gluten free section of the grocery store to boot!

In the kitchen...the piano that sat in it for two days has been moved.  We can no longer tap out a tune while grabbing the mustard.

I am wearing...as much purple as possible.  For me, it's the new pink.

I am creating...a picture schedule for Josiah for his afternoons.  He loves to look at the next thing on his list and do it himself.  As I'm trying to work with the older two then, I love it as well.

I am going...on a field trip with Eric's sister's family next week.  When my 19-year-old niece asked if we wanted to be included in her spring break plans, we jumped at saying yes!  We are learning the gift of watching two of these children becoming young adults.

I am wondering...what God wants me to be when my children grow up.

I am reading...Smart but Scattered.  I'd never heard of executive functioning until the past couple of months, but have become better educated.  This book has so many great ideas for helping kids organize themselves and their responses.  Maybe it will help me organize myself, too!

I am hoping...we can understand and help Rachel with her digestive issues.  Prayer needed here.

I am looking forward to...starting a Bible study on Ecclesiastes.  We'll start next week, if it will stop snowing on Tuesdays.

I am learning...to stop focusing on what my children can't do and instead stand breathless at what God has done and is continuing to do in their lives.

Around the house...new carpet!  Josiah named it Fuzzy.  Thus the reason the piano was in the kitchen.

I am pondering...summer.  Our plans have never been so up in the air.  Wondering what God has in mind!

A favorite quote for today...

Never be sad or desponding,
If thou has faith to believe;
Grace, for the duties before thee,
Ask of thy God and receive.

Never give up, never give up,
Never give up to thy sorrows,
Jesus will bid them depart;
Trust in the Lord, Trust in the Lord,
Sing when your trials are greatest,
Trust in the Lord and take heart.

-Fanny Crosby

One of my favorite things...is teaching science to my kindergartner.  He thinks cells are oh so cool.  He is oh so right!  We are studying the human body.  I am marveling at what a young man told me recently who was homeschooled until high school: the body is the pinnacle of everything God made.  It is an awesome endeavor to study it, as it reveals God's creativity as nothing else in His creation.  What a thought!  And we can't even begin to talk about the study of the soul since that won't go under a microscope...

A few plans for the rest of the week: science classes at the Discovery Museum.  Rachel is giddy about the weather class as her current plan (aside from dog breeding and teaching) is to become a storm chaser.  Josiah is going to learn about magnets.

A peek into my day...

Chosen Families

Passing along a website that has been a particular comfort to me over the past few days and weeks as we have been in the process of reevaluating Josiah's needs now that he is in kindergarten.  ChosenFamilies.org was created to provide Christian support and encouragement to parents and families of children with hidden disabilities.

Larabars: it ended in yum!

When you're gluten free, it's only a matter of time before you are introduced.  Our first meeting was not quite what I expected.  There was no rush of happy feelings, no taste buds all a-flutter, no desire to pursue this friendship.

Sometimes things sweeten with patience.

It was all in the chemistry, really.  I should have started with chocolate chip cookie dough, instead of pecan pie.

Now that I've made homemade Larabars thanks to this delectable recipe from Cha Cha, I was ready to venture out and try something new, something along the lines of this recipe, to which I give all credit for any creative sparks that followed.  My cupboard was temporarily bare of pecans, the almonds we tried did not seem to work well for my DS, and my husband had tossed what was left of our raw cashews, so I looked at our walnuts and smiled, hopefully. 

Cocoa-coconut Lara Bites

15 dates, pitted (in the refrigerated section of our health food store)

1 c. walnuts (sub in any combination of nuts you have on hand)

3/4 c. shredded coconut

2 T. coconut oil

2 T. water

1/3 c. chocolate chips (I think, since I didn't exactly measure, just poured in mini chips until it looked right)

Mix walnuts and coconut in food processor until fine.  Then add dates, oil, and water and pulse until a dough forms.  Add chocolate chips and stir by hand.  Press mixture into melon baller and then onto waxed paper.  Refrigerate any that are left after sampling.

gluten free tortillas!

Pork carnitas in the crockpot is one of my all-time favorite meals.  Chipotle is a great place to enjoy them, but over a year ago I saw a homemade recipe on the Feingold member's recipe board, and have loved making it ever since.  It is so easy and makes the whole house smell so good. 

When I went gluten free last summer, one of the things I missed the most was flour tortillas.  We have been substituting corn chips in their place for Mexican food, but to be honest, we've had so many corn chips lately it was getting old.  So this weekend I pulled out the cookbook Gluten Free on a Shoestring to try a homemade recipe for rice flour tortillas.  The tortilla press I got for Christmas made these so easy to make, I wish I had tried them sooner.  My press is small, so one adjustment I will make next time is to make 8 tortillas instead of 6, which is a better number for our family anyway.  It is so much fun to let Josiah have a tortilla he can eat, too!

 

Flour Tortillas

 

2 c. GF flour (you can buy this premixed or save money by making your own.  I use 6 c. rice flour, 2 c. potato starch, 1 c. tapioca flour that I order from Amazon)

1 t. xanthan gum

1 1/2 t. baking powder

1 t. salt

4 T. oil (I used olive)

1 c. warm water (about 100 degrees)

 

In a large bowl, place the flour, xanthan gum, baking powder, and salt and mix to combine well.  Add the oil and stir to combine.  Add the water slowly to combine and mix as you pour.

 

Press together the dough with wet hands.  Divide into 8 pieces and flatten individually in tortilla press until about 1/8 inch thick.

 

Heat large skillet.  Once it is hot, place each raw tortilla in skillet one at a time.  Allow to cook for 45-60 seconds, then turn for another 30-45 seconds.  It is better to undercook than overcook.  Remove from pan and place on a plate.  Use while still warm.

 

Easy Slow Cooker Carnitas

 

2 lb. boneless pork ribs, pork shoulder, or pork loin

2 t. salt (or less)

2 t. dried oregano

2 t. black pepper

2 t. cumin

1/2 large onion, cut in 4 pieces

 

Mix spices and rub over pork.  Place pork in slow cooker and scatter onion on top.  Cook pork 6 hours on low or 4 on high.  About 30 min. before done, shred pork with fork.  Let cook in juices for 30 min. before serving.  The meat is very tender.

 

 



healing

Rachel's troubles started again in September.  At first it was just a couple of days one weekend when she had a few tummy issues, then things were good again.  But as October, November, and December wore on, the days between bouts shortened and the symptoms increased.  Her IBS was back.

This is one of the many times I have been thankful we can homeschool to work around health issues.  However, it is hard not to be concerned when I see Rachel not wanting to eat and complaining of cramping and diarrhea on an almost daily basis.  We kept food logs, dropped gluten (dairy was already out), grew more careful about fatty meat, onion, and garlic, but it didn't seem like much we did made a difference.  Finally I looked into the FODMAPS diet for IBS and implemented it.  I added in digestive enzymes and probiotics for good measure. That did help some but the trouble continued. 

In January a friend from church mentioned the name of a holistic chiropractor so we made the appointment.  He told us to try cutting out refined sugar and had a few new suggestions about enzymes and probiotics that her body could better tolerate.  We added zinc and more recently magnesium.  Slowly but steadily Rachel began to get better! 

We're not there yet, but things are really on the upswing.  She still has to watch her fruit intake, because if things get out of hand, the intestinal cramping comes back.  Onion, garlic, and all meat are back on the menu.

So how does someone cut out refined sugar?  This is an area where I have to applaud Rachel for being willing to make some hard sacrifices, but she knows she feels so much better when she does!  Meijer sells coconut sugar that we use in place of regular sugar, and we also use Stevia in oatmeal and hot chocolate.  Actually, she has gotten to the point that she eats oatmeal with no sweeteners.  There is so little sugar in things like chocolate chips that she does well with those, even straight out of the bag.   Larabars are the new granola bar.  Homemade are not difficult at all. We're hopeful that eventually she will be able to tolerate a bit of sugar again one day.  Meanwhile, the rate at which popcorn disappears at our house continues to escalate. =D

Another day, another adjustment.  The cooking adventure continues! 

peek at the week

Josiah has figured out he can read, really read!!  What a magical moment! One morning I sent him up to get dressed and discovered him a few minutes later, in bed reading, only half changed.  Here he is sharing a story with Nana and Poppa at bedtime.

Some surprises in the new way we are doing school: Josiah loves the fingerplays and acting things out.  On this day he chose 5 stuffed animals and labeled them with the names of family members.  Then he chose an activity for each "person" to do based on what he knew they were interested in.  Here is "Micah" doing his schoolwork.

This was my favorite: "Daddy" and "Mommy" cooking together.

We had a little Valentine's party.  Rachel had already bought herself some crafts from Hobby Lobby with a birthday gift card and enjoyed making a sun-catcher.

 

Josiah made two Valentines, one for Daddy and one for his friend J who lives next door.

 

 

Announcing...the Clippers!

 

I either need to buy a better camera, or take better pictures, or both.  But had to capture a few shots of Micah playing Upward basketball.  His team has been so much fun to watch this year.  They work so well together.  Micah scored his first basket last night, but prefers to play defense and pass the ball off to someone else for a basket.  (He's the blurry one with the ball!)

His height is definitely an asset!  I did not realize how tall he had really gotten until I saw him out on the floor with other boys his age.  Makes it easier to grab those rebounds!  It will be sad to see the season come to an end.  As far as we can tell, it may be the last time Micah plays organized basketball.  But soccer is calling his name for high school...

beyond rewards and punishments: the Heart of discipline

"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son...God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness." Hebrews 12:5-6, 10

 



Long, long ago, in another galaxy far, far away, before I had kids, I was trained to be a special education teacher.

I remember my college days with fondness.  The further along I went in my field, the more interesting this line of study became.  The classes on child development were insightful, information about learning disabilities and behavior disorders drew me in deeper, and the professors were skilled as they imparted their expertise to me.  What intrigued me the most, as my knees shook at the thought of being responsible for a classroom full of behaviorally challenged children, were the classes on behavior management.  Terms like variable reinforcement, rewards, and timeout became part of the toolbox I could carry with me into a career to help children with special challenges and help me to maintain some semblance of order in my classroom.  For 3 1/2 years I used these strategies while loving on students, working through tremendous behavior challenges, and helping little ones learn.  Granted, I had children in my classroom who most certainly had read every book on behavior management already and were working to rewrite them, but I was a teacher and could leave these things behind at the end of each day.

Then I became a parent.

My early parenting days were what I expected, filled with normal things like playing, trips to the park, snuggles, and enjoying library books together.  When behavior became an issue, I continued to pull my trusty behavior management tools out of the toolbox.  While not a perfect system, I often was able to elicit the response for which I hoped-- an obedient child.

As we added to our family, behavior challenges crept in that I wasn't expecting.  When Rachel was my sweet little toddler, she began to make it quite plain that there were certain situations, (especially those involving loud noises) of which she was highly intolerant.  I remember reaching into my trusty bag, promising rewards if she would just go into the echoing, noisy room for Vacation Bible School, or the sanctuary where we needed to attend a funeral service.  In addition to the uncomfortable sounds, she protested loudly to things like cutting her fingernails, brushing her hair or especially putting it up in any kind of pony tail, and wearing certain clothes.  My tools failed me.  No promises of good or threats of punishment were going to convince her to comply to my simple request to obey. 

When our youngest child arrived on the scene, things became intense.  Whether it was the texture of foods, loud noises, food sensitivities, or once again the cutting of fingernails, or even simple duties I would ask him to perform, his protests were long and easily heard within a one block radius of our house.  He would often lash at out those around him, was impulsive and had an overabundance of energy, and was extremely non-compliant.  By age three I was barely able to manage his behavior, even with strong and consistent reliance on behavior management techniques.  He could barely control himself for any length of time, often expressed anxiety, spun around, plugged his ears and shouted, and seemed uncomfortable in his own skin. 

What I did not fully understand at the time was that my youngest children both have forms of Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), a term that I do not even remember from my college days.  Rachel was first diagnosed with a mild form as a preschooler, and we have recently come to understand that while her symptoms are subtle to the untrained eye, they are still very much there and do still affect her.  It is only recently that I really began to look at Josiah more closely through the lens of sensory issues (although due to Rachel's experience I have long suspected he had them), and began to see how pervasive they are to every day functioning...and behavior.

But what strikes me most is what I am discovering in my research on SPD.  The website Sensory Smart Parent states, "When a child's behavior is due to sensory processing issues, punishment and reward do not work as motivators."

I had to read that again.  And then slowly, reluctantly, I eased up my grip on my toolbox.

But what does work with children who have SPD?  For starters, they are helped most when taught coping skills.  When you take time to separate their emotional and physical needs from their behavior, and teach them to process what is going on in their bodies, they begin to develop their own tools for managing behavior.  How does this happen?  You have to enter into their world, talk to them about what they are experiencing, and help them find ways to manage. 

As a Christian parent, I am taking this lesson to heart.  For too long I have relied on a system of punishment and reward to shape my children's behavior.  That is not to say these things do not have their place.  In the Bible, God Himself disciplines His children with promises of blessing for obedience and the threat of curses for disobedience, especially throughout the Old Testament but also in the New.  However, through the gospel He shows us what is behind His discipline: a desire to reach our hearts.  He entered our world through the person of His Son and adopted us into His family. He disciples us, walks beside us through challenges, and equips us to overcome sin in the power of His Holy Spirit, which is the Person of God Himself, come to dwell within believers.

Slowly, God is showing me that parenting isn't simply behavior management.  It is about discipling my children, tending to heart issues, showing how the gospel speaks to daily living, including the challenges of sensory issues.*  Together we have seen God give my children courage to face anxiety-provoking situations in answer to prayer, although that is admittedly not always how He chooses to work. He's also given guidance in helping us to come up with plans that help my children to manage their own unique needs so they can self-regulate their behavior, and He continues to walk with us daily on a journey we weren't expecting to take.  The supernatural patience, the new understanding and consideration of other's needs, the forgiveness extended when we do sin against each other, the relationships we are building with God and each other through difficulties are far more valuable than making sure I have a specific behavior outcome. 

Slowly, according to His plan for us, I trust we are being made holy.  As we go through hard things trusting our kind Father is using them for our good, our lives are conforming to His standards.  We are learning the joy of being His children, and experiencing the relational love He expresses to us through His perfect discipline.  He's reaching our hearts.

*The sensations of SPD itself are not issues of the heart, (much like a child's irrational fear over getting a shot is not pure defiance), but they certainly do give us opportunities to address heart issues.