life around our house..or around the rink

There has been a recent marriage and now the feasting has begun.

Three very different children with very different interests and abilities, but all three have enjoyed ice skating lessons.  After four weeks of lessons, this girl no longer grabs the wall all the way around the rink--that's progress!!

Pretty much what he looks like in person, too...a blur.

 

And of course, the class clown.  He's really doing well, too.

 

I sit, watch, and marvel at the privilege God has given me to raise three precious children who are growing up way too fast.

beyond rewards and punishments: the Heart of discipline

"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son...God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness." Hebrews 12:5-6, 10

 



Long, long ago, in another galaxy far, far away, before I had kids, I was trained to be a special education teacher.

I remember my college days with fondness.  The further along I went in my field, the more interesting this line of study became.  The classes on child development were insightful, information about learning disabilities and behavior disorders drew me in deeper, and the professors were skilled as they imparted their expertise to me.  What intrigued me the most, as my knees shook at the thought of being responsible for a classroom full of behaviorally challenged children, were the classes on behavior management.  Terms like variable reinforcement, rewards, and timeout became part of the toolbox I could carry with me into a career to help children with special challenges and help me to maintain some semblance of order in my classroom.  For 3 1/2 years I used these strategies while loving on students, working through tremendous behavior challenges, and helping little ones learn.  Granted, I had children in my classroom who most certainly had read every book on behavior management already and were working to rewrite them, but I was a teacher and could leave these things behind at the end of each day.

Then I became a parent.

My early parenting days were what I expected, filled with normal things like playing, trips to the park, snuggles, and enjoying library books together.  When behavior became an issue, I continued to pull my trusty behavior management tools out of the toolbox.  While not a perfect system, I often was able to elicit the response for which I hoped-- an obedient child.

As we added to our family, behavior challenges crept in that I wasn't expecting.  When Rachel was my sweet little toddler, she began to make it quite plain that there were certain situations, (especially those involving loud noises) of which she was highly intolerant.  I remember reaching into my trusty bag, promising rewards if she would just go into the echoing, noisy room for Vacation Bible School, or the sanctuary where we needed to attend a funeral service.  In addition to the uncomfortable sounds, she protested loudly to things like cutting her fingernails, brushing her hair or especially putting it up in any kind of pony tail, and wearing certain clothes.  My tools failed me.  No promises of good or threats of punishment were going to convince her to comply to my simple request to obey. 

When our youngest child arrived on the scene, things became intense.  Whether it was the texture of foods, loud noises, food sensitivities, or once again the cutting of fingernails, or even simple duties I would ask him to perform, his protests were long and easily heard within a one block radius of our house.  He would often lash at out those around him, was impulsive and had an overabundance of energy, and was extremely non-compliant.  By age three I was barely able to manage his behavior, even with strong and consistent reliance on behavior management techniques.  He could barely control himself for any length of time, often expressed anxiety, spun around, plugged his ears and shouted, and seemed uncomfortable in his own skin. 

What I did not fully understand at the time was that my youngest children both have forms of Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), a term that I do not even remember from my college days.  Rachel was first diagnosed with a mild form as a preschooler, and we have recently come to understand that while her symptoms are subtle to the untrained eye, they are still very much there and do still affect her.  It is only recently that I really began to look at Josiah more closely through the lens of sensory issues (although due to Rachel's experience I have long suspected he had them), and began to see how pervasive they are to every day functioning...and behavior.

But what strikes me most is what I am discovering in my research on SPD.  The website Sensory Smart Parent states, "When a child's behavior is due to sensory processing issues, punishment and reward do not work as motivators."

I had to read that again.  And then slowly, reluctantly, I eased up my grip on my toolbox.

But what does work with children who have SPD?  For starters, they are helped most when taught coping skills.  When you take time to separate their emotional and physical needs from their behavior, and teach them to process what is going on in their bodies, they begin to develop their own tools for managing behavior.  How does this happen?  You have to enter into their world, talk to them about what they are experiencing, and help them find ways to manage. 

As a Christian parent, I am taking this lesson to heart.  For too long I have relied on a system of punishment and reward to shape my children's behavior.  That is not to say these things do not have their place.  In the Bible, God Himself disciplines His children with promises of blessing for obedience and the threat of curses for disobedience, especially throughout the Old Testament but also in the New.  However, through the gospel He shows us what is behind His discipline: a desire to reach our hearts.  He entered our world through the person of His Son and adopted us into His family. He disciples us, walks beside us through challenges, and equips us to overcome sin in the power of His Holy Spirit, which is the Person of God Himself, come to dwell within believers.

Slowly, God is showing me that parenting isn't simply behavior management.  It is about discipling my children, tending to heart issues, showing how the gospel speaks to daily living, including the challenges of sensory issues.*  Together we have seen God give my children courage to face anxiety-provoking situations in answer to prayer, although that is admittedly not always how He chooses to work. He's also given guidance in helping us to come up with plans that help my children to manage their own unique needs so they can self-regulate their behavior, and He continues to walk with us daily on a journey we weren't expecting to take.  The supernatural patience, the new understanding and consideration of other's needs, the forgiveness extended when we do sin against each other, the relationships we are building with God and each other through difficulties are far more valuable than making sure I have a specific behavior outcome. 

Slowly, according to His plan for us, I trust we are being made holy.  As we go through hard things trusting our kind Father is using them for our good, our lives are conforming to His standards.  We are learning the joy of being His children, and experiencing the relational love He expresses to us through His perfect discipline.  He's reaching our hearts.

*The sensations of SPD itself are not issues of the heart, (much like a child's irrational fear over getting a shot is not pure defiance), but they certainly do give us opportunities to address heart issues.

truths for bumpy Rhodes

 In the midst of a busy household, I've been trying to listen for the quiet voice of God as He speaks to my heart.  This fall I've been troubled that I've not been able to give all of the kids more direction in their spiritual lives.  Making sure we are in the word and praying together as a family each morning before we start our day has become a bigger priority.

 

Enter some ideas He's given recently.

 

Stones of Remembrance

After crossing the Jordan River at flood stage in Joshua 4, the people of Israel were instructed to remove stones from the middle of the river as a remembrance of God's mighty acts among them.  He wanted this to be a testimony to their children and the generations yet to come.

 

We cut out stones and wrote down some of the mighty acts of God in our lives.  This exercise went from being mainly academic straight to my heart when I read my children's stones.

 

 

Josiah's stones

 

Rachel's stones

 

My stones

 

 

God's Names 

 

For Bible we began to work through the book God's Names by Sally Michael.  Each child is constructing a poster of His names as we learn them. 

 

Josiah's poster--he says he thinks about the names of God at night when it is dark and scary.

 

"Enlarging God in a sinful world" complete with magnifying glass on Rachel's poster. How these children touch my heart!

 

(Both of Micah's projects are still in progress.)

 

Eric has been experiencing some intense leg pain in a muscle behind his knee.  Last week the doctor sent him to the hospital, suspecting a blood clot could be the cause.  As anxiety rushed through my body, the names of God and His mighty acts entered my mind just as quickly.  The remembrance of both quieted my fears and focused me on the One who has all things in His hands no matter the outcome. 

 

Good news, no blood clot.

 

I was later able to share with the kids how our discoveries had been a comfort to me.

 

These lessons are far from academic.

the Bible through a wide angle lens

I'm reading through a couple of children's Bibles with my youngest this year.  The first would be a great Bible to start with a child as young as two.  The story line is engaging and it presents Jesus as the long-awaited king from Old Testament days who brings salvation to the world.  Our pastor recommended it a few months ago; it was already on my Amazon wish list. :)

We are almost ready to start the second, and after glancing through I am excited!  The Jesus Storybook Bible captures the breathless anticipation of Christ as it chronicles God's loving story of rescue in page after page.  This is more appropriate for early elementary, but there is plenty of food for thought to benefit any age!! 

milestone of a different kind

It has been a tradition in our family to present each child with their own Bible when they are learning how to read.

Last week Josiah had his first day of children's church, and since we were going to wait until Christmas to get him a Bible, I let him take his big sister's with him. 

His response was not what I expected.

Josiah clutched that Bible with excitement, like he had hardly dared to believe he could be entrusted with such a precious book.  On the way to church he was "reading it," exclaiming each time he found the word "God."

Oh, to have such a joy over the word of God!!

Needless to say, he got his new Bible this week.



"From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise..." (Ps. 8:2)

Slugs and Bugs

Our family had the privilege of enjoying a concert by Randall Goodgame this afternoon at our annual church picnic.  It was so much fun I had to post a link to his website here.  This would be well suited for the preschool or elementary child in your life.  My 11-year-old even delighted in his goofiness, and I watched some empty nesters having a great time a few rows in front of me.  Still, if you are into the more "adult" genre, look up his hymn CD and listen to the song Jerusalem.  I promise you won't be disappointed!

Not just fun, I personally appreciated Randall's genuine desire to see Christ honored through music.  He's also a friend of Andy Osenga, for those in our local circle and beyond who know him. :)

the wonder of it all

Wake up.

Get Breakfast.

Clean up.

Teach school.

Snack.

Clean up.

Teach school.

Lunch.

Clean up.

Teach school.

Snack.

Clean up.

Supper.

Clean up.

Pick up house.

Evening activities.

Clean up.

Repeat.

It is hard sometimes, as a mother, to not get trapped in the mundane.  It seems our work is done only to be undone, fatigue sets in, and life crawls along.  Then we blink, find our children have grown, and wonder where all that time went and what we did with the endless hours that once stretched out before us with such promise.  What seemed it would last forever is gone far too soon.

I'm so grateful to the Lord that when I start to lose my wonder and vision in training up my children, He sends a little message into my life to shake things up and make me gaze in awe again at what He is doing.

These arrived in our mailbox on Wed.  Josiah claims they are the first real caterpillars he has ever seen.  Surely not!  They really don't do much at first except eat, crawl, and grow.

Josiah could hardly leave them alone, and left his butterfly chart out so they could see what they were going to be when they grew up (See Painted Lady picture in lower right.)

There is a sense of wonder when you watch a caterpillar molt for the last time and then see the new exoskeleton harden into a chrysalis.

Those eyes say it all!

Now we are waiting...

And that is what much of childhood is.  Growing, yes eating!, and waiting as we see how God molds and transforms young lives.  Whether prayerfully anticipating the new birth, or for the work of sanctification to unfold, we hold our breath, knowing all we do as parents is somehow caught up as part of God's greater story written into the lives our children as He graciously redeems failures and uses obedience, molding and forming lives to be used for His glory as He sees fit.  "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation." (2 Cor. 5:17)  Sometimes all we can do is hold our breath, powerlessly wondering how it will all turn out.  One day, those young ones who seem to change almost imperceptibly will burst forth and spread their wings.

God spreads out His word to us, giving glimpses of what we will be when we grow up.  "Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known." (1 John 3:2)  "We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed--in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet...the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed.  For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality."  The Lord is powerfully at work and will carry to completion what He has set out to do according to His good plan.

May we never lose the wonder of the gospel.  It took 5 caterpillars to help me recapture the awe, and remember that the journey of raising children, and partnering with Him in the work of the gospel in any life, is never mundane in His eyes.

savoring this one

Not because it is a perfect book on parenting*, but because it has made me think.

And because finally I have some words I can use to talk to my child about how God's power is even greater than the enticements of sin.

And because I was one of the kids who grew up feeling like I was pretty good (most of the time) and only really understood what it was to have a Savior when I finally faced my own depravity once I became a mother.

Finally because it's not quite like any other parenting book I have read.

Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus

*Reading the critical reviews are helpful in thinking through some of the content presented.

poem of encouragement

Here's to the kids who are different,
Kids who don't always get A's,
Kids who have ears twice the size of the peers,
And noses that go on for days,
Here's to the kids who are different,
Kids who bloom later than some,
Kids who don't fit,
But who never say quit,
Who dance to a different drum,
Here's to the kids who are different,
Kids with the mischievous streak,
For when they have grown,
As history has shown,
It's their difference that makes them unique.

-Digly Wolfe

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." Ps. 139:13-14

Scripture Memory

I love this simple, inexpensive idea for scripture memory from Simply Charlotte Mason, and the video that walks you through the set up!  They also have a list of verses to memorize if you need help getting started.  What a great habit to start this summer, if it's not already in place!

sharing a most treasured book

I've been waiting a long time to share this book with my children.  Now that we are finished with our Core read-alouds, we have time to tackle it!

My mom read Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard to my brother and I, when I was about the same age as my daughter now.  I loved it!

"The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like Hinds' Feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine High Places."  Habakkuk 3:19

"...the High Places of victory and union with Christ cannot be reached by any mental reckoning of self to be dead to sin, or by seeking to devise some way or discipline by which the will can be crucified.  The only way is by learning to accept, day by day, the actual conditions and tests permitted by God, by a continually repeated laying down of our own will and acceptance of his as it is presented to us in the form of the people with whom we have to live and work, and in the things which happen to us.  Every acceptance of his will becomes an altar of sacrifice, and every such surrender and abandonment of ourselves to his will is a means of furthering us on the way to the High Places to which he desires to bring every child of his while they are still living on earth."

-from the Preface to the Allegory

If we think of High Places as prosperity and peace, they are unattainable in this world.  However, if High Places are considered to be power to overcome selfish tendencies in spite of adversity, to love even when it hurts and to learn to consider it a small thing not to be loved in return, to offer grace and forgiveness in spite of sin, then those heights are accessible to the child of God by trusting and submitting to the life of Christ dwelling within.

Maybe I loved it as a child simply because I could identify so well with a character named Much Afraid, who shrank back from companions like Sorrow and Suffering.  How little she knew of the Shepherd's ways when she began her journey, nor how trusting Him through it would truly transform her.

*Not because transformation is the goal...it is the result of taking part in the journey.  Showing forth the beauty and trustworthiness of the Savior...that is the aim of this traveler!  And when it is not...well, God has a way of putting that right, too.



what tests can't measure

From Calvin and Hobbes:

Miss Wormwood: Calvin, your test was an absolute disgrace!  It's obvious you haven't read any of the material.  Our first president was NOT Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and you ought to be ashamed to have turned in such preposterous answers!

Calvin (after pausing to look incredulously at his paper): I just don't test well.

Last week my kids took standardized achievement tests.  This year was the same as any other year, except this year was our first to homeschool, so every day as soon as they closed the van door I peppered them with questions.  "How was it?  How do you think you did?  What was hard?  What was easy?"  I'm always interested in how my children are doing, but this year I could feel my interest heightened because now I am the main person in charge of their learning.  In some ways, that's just a little bit frightening.

But it's also been a good time to remind myself to have right thinking--biblical thinking--about standardized testing.  It seems obvious that these tests can be a fairly good measure of academic achievement.  However, there are several things they cannot tell us, and I wonder if at times I place higher value on them than I ought.  Here are a few things that standardized tests cannot measure:

1. They do not measure whether or not our children have truly acquired wisdom.

James 3:13 "Who is wise and understanding among you?  Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in humility that comes from wisdom."

According to Websters dictionary, wisdom is "the right use or exercise of knowledge, the choice of laudable means, and of the best means to accomplish them...the exercise of sound judgment in avoiding evils or attempting good."  By that definition, wisdom is knowledge applied with sound moral judgment.  A child can acquire tremendous intellectual ability and yet not be wise in application.  As a mother, I must constantly be watching to see how my children are applying the knowledge they have to daily living, and helping them to learn what it means to think biblically about the information they are now putting into practice.

2. They do not reveal whether or not our children are developing character.

Once again, the verse in James instructs us that the fruit of wisdom are deeds done in humility.  It is very easy to become conceited about what we know, until we realize the tremendous responsibility we have been given to use that knowledge to serve God and others.  Wisdom shows itself in patience, kindness, selflessness, and many other virtues that can't be measured except by watching how a child's actions reveal their view of God, others, and themselves.

3. They do not measure our value as teachers or our children's value as precious and loved by God.

This hits too close to home.  I was the sort of student who did well in school and tested well.  What I didn't realize at the time was how much of my sense of value was bound up in my grades and test scores.  That carried me through high school and college, but there did come a day when no one cared anymore what kind of grades I had earned, or what my ACT score had been (if they had cared in the first place).  But then there was a little life in my arms who depended on me daily for love, nourishment, and good character in order to ensure survival.  If we are finding our own or our children's value in test scores, we certainly are not looking high enough.  God has given each of us intrinsic value as men and women created in His image.  The child who is not able to be tested due to cognitive deficiencies is just as precious as the one who scores off the charts.  And what we do as our children's teachers can never be measured with pen and paper.

So what to do with standardized tests?  Should I just toss them out the window and assume they are unimportant?  Of course not.  But I will...

1. Use them as a measure of strengths and weaknesses to plan our next school year. 

I already know there are places one of my children will not test strong, because we are filling in some learning gaps.  I will be hoping to see growth in that child a few years from now, and will continue looking for ideas to help shore up weaknesses.  Strengths show me how my children are uniquely gifted and how God has wired them to learn.  It is exciting to have that information in hand to use as another tool in my box to teach them next year.

2. Share them only with much discretion.

My two oldest children started at a private school, and it did not take one of them long to realize they were "smart."  From the beginning, we were careful not to feed that child's pride regarding academic ability.  It was years before I shared test scores with either child, and then only to help understand a bit of the responsibility the child had to develop areas of giftedness or partner in learning where there were lags.  There are huge temptations regarding sharing this kind of information with anyone else.  "Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips," (Prov. 27:2) is a great verse to teach our children and remember ourselves.  I cringe to think how often I forget this principle either consciously or unconsciously when it comes to me or my children.

3. Remember to teach the whole child.

We have the smallest glimpse into Jesus' childhood in Luke 2.  Nowhere is it recorded how He got his education (we know it was probably quite humble because His earthly parents were not people of means but also quite complete knowing the wisdom He used in every situation He encountered), what sort of parenting techniques were used, or how He spent His free time.  But we do know "Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men" (Luke 2:52).  Jesus did grow intellectually, physically, spiritually, and socially through his childhood.  If I aim at all four of those areas in my children's development, I will be well on my way to helping them to become the man or woman God created them to be.

4. Remember God.

He is the one we look to for the development of moral character in our children, because we know godly morals can only come about by the knowledge of His word through the work of the Spirit.  How much more can we trust Him to guide the intellectual development of the children He has given us?  Whatever my children do or become after their school years, He is the one who deserves all the glory.

Your Body, God's Plan

This excellent program designed for 5th grade students is being offered again this spring at the Parke Hotel and Conference Center.  My husband and son attended two years ago, and I plan to take my daughter this year.  We've tried to be very intentional in our conversations about this topic with our children.  I think we might be seeing the fruit: there's nothing quite like having a child come to a parent for advice or just simple observations about the opposite sex!  (Even if the topic does still make my daughter want to throw up.  Which is okay with me for now.)

Here's the brochure online: http://ewo.org/mediafiles/your-body-gods-plan-brochure.pdf.

ADHD, Feingold, and the gospel

"When they came to Jesus, they saw the man...sitting there, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid."  Mark 5:15

This is a post long overdue.  For over a year now, I have documented our Feingold journey in overcoming ADHD symptoms with our youngest son, posting successes and failures, and celebrating the progress he has made.

I have failed, however, to link the gospel to this (sometimes miraculous!) journey.  In no way do I want to ignore it, substitute it, or fail to give God the glory for how it plays into what He is doing in Josiah's life.

In the time of Jesus' ministry, he encountered a man who was possessed by demons.  In fact, there were so many evil spirits dwelling in this man, they gave their name as Legion.  Before he met Jesus the man was unable to control his impulses or even have them controlled by others.  His life was a ruin, and he was injuring both himself and others.  In his encounter with Jesus, Legion was cast into a herd of pigs, leaving the man in his right mind, healed, and able to listen to Jesus and tell others of the things He had done for him.

For some it may be satanic influences, for others alcoholism, drugs, or other addictions, that keep a man or woman from being able to fully apprehend the person of Jesus Christ.  Rather than being drawn to Him, they may mock Him or ignore Him.  Personally encountering Jesus gives power to cast aside those things that command control of lives, allowing for His Person to minister to a life that has been broken by sin. 

For others, like my son, there is something thrust upon their bodies from the outside which they have had no part in choosing.  Not unlike the chemical influence alcohol may have over someone who is drunk, toxins not originally meant for the body to ingest can cause a chemically sensitive child to engage in behavior that truly is beyond their ability to control.  In discovering this connection and removing the offending chemicals in our son's diet, there has been healing. 

Hidden underneath these things is another powerful, more destructive force: the sin nature.  While we treat the root cause of chemical sensitivity with diet, we treat the sin nature with the gospel. 

So in no way do I leave off godly parenting, discipline, or the truth that sin brings consequences when dealing with misbehavior in my son.  We talk about the love of Jesus our Savior, who always pleased God yet took the punishment for our sin on a cross so that we could be close to God rather than be punished ourselves.  There is a constant tension between using diet as a treatment for the body, and the gospel as treatment for the soul.

Without the intervention of diet, my son used to say "Jesus makes me sad."  To him, it seemed impossible to ever control his body in a way that would please the Lord.*  Now, he loves to learn about the Lord Jesus and is growing in his desire to please Him.  When he sins, he may come to Jesus and tell him he is sorry, and then go on in the confidence that he is loved and forgiven.  He can ask Jesus for help to live the way he should.  He reminds me of the man in this passage, sitting at Jesus feet listening to His teaching as a life that is under His control, and living to share with others the testimony of His work.

For what is the greater miracle in this Bible story: casting out demons or the surrender of a soul to the very God he was rebelling against?

Diet is not Josiah's savior; Jesus is.

*That is not to say that using diet is the means to bring such a child to Christ!  I do not know if Josiah has yet learned to trust Jesus as his Savior.  However, diet removed a barrier he was having trouble overcoming in knowing and loving Jesus.  When Jesus heals a life, what joy we have in the barriers He removes in allowing us to overcome sin and separation from God!!

Youth Exodus from the Church, a post by Ken Ham

The more we learn about the authority of the true words of the Bible, the more equipped our children will be to live by it without reservation.

Youth Exodus from the Church

what I really want this year...

Yes, I'd love to see spelling and math improve.

To see excellence sought after, rather than simply doing enough to get something done.

To teach life skills alongside academic skills.

To make Bible study a part of their daily lives, and gain knowledge of the book as a whole.

To improve writing and grammar.

To think of someone besides themselves.

But what I really want is not something I can teach, or even anything I can do.  (I'm not sure I can really do any of the above, either!)

I want God to stir our hearts to reach after His dreams for their lives, His glory, and a greater longing for His presence.

I'd better get on my knees.

trusting God with the educational journey

Starting with the time my oldest son was born, I began dreaming of homeschooling.  I read every book I could get my hands on, poured over methods, and picked out curriculum.  When we bought our first house, we didn't worry at all about the neighborhood school, because our kids wouldn't be going there. 

However, the year before Micah started kindergarten, I began to feel a pull in a different direction for him.  Prayerfully, trustingly, and contrary to my carefully-laid plans, God led us to enroll him in a private Christian school.  Two years later, his sister joined him.

Looking back, we have wonderful and treasured memories of that school.  Special friends were made and the staff welcomed parents in every aspect of learning.  I felt like the teachers had a perspective on my children I didn't always see myself, and appreciated the things they saw in them and pointed out to me.  The kids loved chapel, and although both professed faith in Christ during their preschool years, they remember the challenges given at chapel as special and defining moments in their Christian walk.  A strong phonics and foundational math curriculum gave them a strong start in academics.  Class parties and field trips welcomed all parents, and I was even able to help in the classrooms for a year.  School felt like a family affair, as we participated in our children's education within the body of Christ.

There were challenges in those years as well.  A tight group of girls made it hard for my less social child to fit in, leaving her vulnerable to friendship issues.  Challenges are often God's way of helping us to grow, and we can look back on that time and know that hard as it was, lessons were learned that she will carry throughout her life.  And of course, one of the biggest challenges of a private education is the price tag.  Tuition hikes coupled with a move changed our financial situation a bit.  I am still amazed we were able to swing private school tuition for two children at all, and we are simply grateful for the way the Lord provided as He directed us through those years.

Public education was the next bend in our journey.  Larger classes meant more opportunities to find friends with something in common.  We loved the feeling of community that school brought to our lives, of doing life alongside neighbors and then in Jr. High, with those from other areas across town.  Opportunities to pursue sports, music, and other interests abounded.  Many of the teachers were good if not outstanding, standards for learning were high, and there were many really nice kids. 

Our children's eyes were also opened to see what it looked like to live a life apart from knowing Christ.  One searched for references to God in every textbook and on every wall, and often came up empty.  How she mourned to see God left out of learning!  There were so many opportunities to talk and share about why we do things different than other families.  Some kids from school found their way to Awana and youth group as the kids began to reach out to others.  There were some scary moments, too, as we had to talk to the kids about things like attempted kidnappings at bus stops and one witnessed a fight.  I kept a close eye on them and prayed often, trusting God as their protector.  The world is not a safe place, and we were often reminded of what sin has done to the perfect world God had intended.

Now we have begun where we started, and returned to homeschooling.  Although we're only a few weeks in, I'll admit it's my favorite way of educating by far.  We love the cozy, relaxed environment where faith is considered in every subject area.  It's God's world we are studying, and we love to find how He is involved in it.  I can tailor education to both strengths and weaknesses.  The world is our classroom, and learning doesn't stop when school hours are over. 

Yet home education is not without its pitfalls.  It is too easy for this introverted mom to shut the doors of my house and forget there is a world outside.  I can already see how easy it would be to let life revolve around our family and our children's education.  When Jesus gave His great commission, He told His disciples to "Go and make disciples of all nations" and that's hard to do if my mind, heart, and prayers do not leave my home.  I pray God will give us wisdom and discernment to be about His business in the days to come and involve the kids in His work in our church, community, and around the world in a way that makes faith a living reality and not a theory imbedded in our minds.

As I look back on our educational journey, I can't feel any loss.  God had lessons in each of our school choices both for my children and for me.  Education is a great influence in their lives, but the gospel is the greatest power there is.  The God who made my children and sent His Son to save them is the one directing their life's curriculum, and He can be trusted.  I think about Moses, who was rescued from the Nile and spent the formative years of his life at his mother's side, only to then be educated in the royal courts of Egypt.  God used his education as he recorded Israel's history and gave them God's laws.  Yet Jesus, the only begotten Son of the Father, probably received little formal education and spent most of his life under the formative influence of his mother and father.  The disciples were unschooled men who spent time with Jesus, and their lives turned the world as we know it upside down.  God directs families and individuals in the ways He knows are best.  We can trust Him with the education of our children, however He has called!

glimpses of the future

This week, I saw my 12-year-old carrying a 15 month-old, and delighting in caring for 2 more children under the age of two.  Then he asked if he could work in the nursery.  It put a lump in my throat.

My 10-year-old is asking when she can babysit, because in 2 days, 2 different people commented on how well she interacts with younger kids.  Of course, she's so tall that she looks older than she really is, but I can definitely see babysitting and teaching in her future.

And, I took this picture of this terrific twosome.

I was reminded recently that a mom's job is not to be a cruise director* but to train up children with skills they will need to function as adults.  I've spent too much of my time arranging fun activities or encouraging academic achievement and sometimes have forgotten there's so much more to parenting than that!  As my kids approach their teen years, I see so much they need to learn.  The good news is, we still have time... and we can certainly have fun in the process.

*Life Skills for Kids, by Christine Field

growing beyond "safe"

Keep my child safe.  It's been my job ever since he was born.  From the time I strapped him into his car seat for the first time, to helping him establish the habit of wearing a bike helmet, to being careful around the stove, to getting to know his friends and their parents, and teaching him not to play in the street, I have carefully monitored most of his existence.  I know that it is really the Lord who is sovereign over his safety, but it's easy to feel like the greatest responsibility falls on me. 

It's hard to watch kids grow up and let go of the safety issue.  This week my 12-year-old is spending the week at church camp, and I find myself constantly praying for his safety.  In my mind's eye I can imagine all sorts of dangers at every turn.  Hey, I'm a mom.  It's what I do.

But as I've sensed an obsession with the idea of safety, I also sense the Lord helping me learn to trust it to Him.  After all, is my goal for Micah's week of camp that he stay safe?  Not at all, really.  My greatest hope and prayer is that he will encounter the living God in a fresh and irresistible way, and that is never safe.  I want his life to be filled with the adventure of living for Him.  That's not safe either. 

When God sent His only Son into the world, it was definitely not a safe plan.  This sinful world does have dangers, snares, and trouble.  It eventually cost Jesus His life.  It is never safe to align yourself on God's side, at least in the eyes of the world.  God's plan for Jesus was not safe, but it was one of redemption and full of good.

As I trust Micah into God's hands, I am trusting he is in the safest place of all--the care of a heavenly Father who only has good plans for him.  I hope Micah finds life's greatest thrill: giving everything for Christ.  I hope he learns to discern when to leave his helmet on, and when to leave it at home.

But as a mom, I will still find myself adding a prayer for his safety.  I'm just in the process of learning to redefine exactly what that means.

internet safety

Last week I attended the MOMS group at our church to hear our youth pastor speak about internet safety.  He is putting that information as a series on his blog.  I'd highly recommend it!