God provides!

-an extra car for the weekend as we continue to wait on an insurance settlement.  Not sure what we'll do after that and not sure we're worried about it!  (We'll be adding rental car to our insurance from now on.)

-cupcakes in the freezer and a little birthday cake left from a weekend celebration to serve at Micah's family birthday party tomorrow--I can just focus on getting groceries tomorrow morning!

-and did I mention enough groceries to last a few extra days until I could recuperate enough to get to the store?

-money to cover a new dryer and refrigerator, both in the same month.  I was driving home from the appliance store when the accident happened, thinking that we'd be OK financially so long as nothing happened to our vehicles in the next few months.

-my mom and dad both home this week to help with kids during ER visits and trips to the chiropractor.

-Eric had only planned to work 2 days this week anyway, so when that was trimmed down to one, not a big deal. 

-free valet parking at the hospital so I didn't have far to walk to retrieve my X-rays for the chiro appointment.  I've always been afraid to use it--no more!

-Eric mentioned we just got new tires to our insurance agent, and they added that cost to the estimate/settlement information.  (As of 5:00 this afternoon, we think our car has been totalled.)

-still marveling I am ok and so is the woman who was under me.  Just exactly how did her windshield not shatter?  It was a miracle.  I keep praying she's feeling better than me and not worse.

I think He's got us covered!

this is what I was doing for fun about 1:30 yesterday...

http://www.pantagraph.com/news/local/article_0dbb125c-12c0-11e0-aaf5-001cc4c002e0.html.

We are thanking the Lord for His protection in so many ways.  The kids were not with me.  The woman under me was not badly hurt.  Everyone walked away from the accident without a scratch.

My car is the one on top.

the newest challenge

We have had definitive evidence lately that Josiah reacts to corn.  Here's a list of ingredients that can contain corn: http://www.cornallergens.com/list/corn-allergen-list.php.

This isn't going to be easy.

labor of love

Snickers candy bars...they are delicious but also have artificials and the chocolate Josiah can't have.  So this Christmas, I tried a recipe for homemade! 

First, I had to make homemade syrup to replace the corn syrup, something else Josiah has trouble with.  This recipe is easy:

1. 1 c. sugar


2. 1/2 tsp. white vinegar


3. 1 c. water


4. 1/4 tsp. salt

Boil all ingredients together 5-10 minutes.

I made a batch and a half to have enough for my recipe. 

Then, on to the homemade Snickers recipe which you can find here: http://candy.about.com/od/otherchocolaterecipes/r/snackers.htm.

It could have been disastrous.  I'm not a cook, and my candy thermometer didn't work.  I burned one batch of nougat, three fingers, and melted a plastic spoon.  But amazingly enough, they pretty much turned out, and they taste great!!

My last task was to try melting carob chips to make a carob version for Josiah.  I wasn't sure if that would even work, but it did!  The top bar is carob, the bottom is chocolate.

Can't wait to try these--ok, we've had a few little tastes here and there.  Not low-fat or low sugar, but ok for us just once a year!

My challenge for next year: try to find some non-dairy substitutes so Rachel can eat them, too.

Where's the Line to See Jesus?

"In the last days, the mountain of the Lord's temple will be established as chief among the mountains...and all nations will stream to it.  Many peoples will come and say, 'Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob.  He will teach us his ways, so that we may walk in his paths.'"  Isaiah 2:2-3

Click here for video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OExXItDyWEY

too busy to blog

But here's a favorite website the kids would like to share: http://www.simonscat.com/films.html.  Micah usually winds up on the floor in tears, he laughs so hard.  If you are a cat owner or have spent any time with cats at all, be prepared to join him.

moments like this...

Rachel has been out of P.E. since April due to shoulder pain.  We've tried all kinds of interventions, but the pain remains.  The Dr. we saw in Chicago recommended she continue her physical therapy exercises but also that she return to P.E.  Yesterday was her first day. 

Today I got a call from the P.E. teacher.  When she started at her new school this year, Rachel was rather afraid of Mr. K.  He's tough with the kids but it's because he wants the best for them.  The school she attends has a reputation for their P.E. program.  Many of the kids go on to be outstanding athletes in Jr. High, and there is a high percentage who achieve the presidential academic fitness award at the end of the school year.  Last year the school had to cut minutes from their P.E. classes because they were over district guidelines.  

Anyway, Rachel's class was doing a 17 minute run yesterday.  The P.E. teacher took her aside and told her he wanted her to do her best, but she didn't have to run it all in one day.  Her situation was different than that of the other kids, and this was her first day of P.E. all year.  She could do the run in 3 minutes a day if she wanted.  He just wanted her to try it and see how it went.  He even checked on her often during her run.

Rachel ran the entire 17 minutes without stopping.  

When she finished, the P.E. teacher told the class, "Give it up for Rachel.  What a great run!!"  They all applauded for her. 

He called me just to tell me how proud he was of her.

for Rachel

This book from Voice of the Martyrs might help clear a few things up, and maybe she can even enjoy Santa again.

this probably won't become a made-for-TV special

It might be because she's part Rhodes.  Her grandpa hems and haws over Christmas every year, albeit in a good-natured way, mostly to tease everyone who takes the shopping and decorating too seriously.  He even gave us the book Skipping Christmas to read one year.  (It was a hoot.)   And her dad sings this song every year starting the day after New Year's: "It ain't Christmas no more.  Get that wreath off your front door.  Take down those lights, get them out of my sight.  It ain't Christmas no more."

Whatever the reason, Rachel seems to have grown quite cynical about Santa Claus this year.  There was a fair amount of eye-rolling over the annual State Farm visit for her youngest brother.  I listened quietly as she handled a conversation with a younger neighbor on the way to school one day.  It went something like this:

Neighbor: "Is Santa real?"

Rachel, carefully: "It's hard to say."

Then followed a discussion between the neighbor siblings about the reality of Santa Claus, and all that goes with it.

Later that day, in response to that conversation, Rachel asked me straight out: "Mom, is Santa real?"  She knows he isn't, but peer pressure was eating at her.

My mind flashed to every single movie and TV special that prolongs the myth of Santa for the questioning child.  However, since all we have ever done as parents is wink at Santa, I knew the time for truth was here.  So I answered the way she knew I would.

"I knew he wasn't real, Mom."

Are you ready for this?  She had biblical proof. 

Why Santa is not real, according to the Bible:

1. God did not make reindeer to fly.  Therefore, the whole Santa thing is a sham.  The things God made have to fulfill their intended purpose, and if the story does not hold up to that, it is not true.

2. Santa is not in the Biblical account of Christmas.  What more needs to be said?

3. Only God can be everywhere at once.  It's not possible for a person.

4. Santa cannot live forever, and if he was real, he'd be really old by now.  Too old to be alive.  God only allows people to live for a set time, since Noah's flood.  Usually not past 100.

So there you have it, my daughter is thinking Biblically about Santa.  I'm really glad I didn't attempt to prolong the myth.

some really great news!

The FDA has agreed to a hearing on food dyes and their affect on children's behavior in March of next year!! Here is the press statement available on the website for the Center for Science in the Public Interest.

If you have noticed any adverse affects of food dyes in yourself or in your child, please fill out this form and send it in. There is a huge potential for many children in our country to be helped by the banning of these dyes. There are health benefits for the rest of us as well! I'll be praying for the outcome of this meeting and hope you'll join me.

giving thanks

As we sat down to lunch today (leftover homemade pizza--our Thanksgiving meals are coming on Friday and Saturday!!), I asked everyone to write down at least five things they are thankful for, and then we each prayed and thanked God for His blessings. Here are our responses:

Josiah
gymnastics
Thanksgiving
stockings and Christmas trees
milk
Micah, Rachel, Mommy, and Daddy

Rachel
foxes
horses
my brothers
food
hamsters
Mom and Dad

Micah
God and His blessings
My family and friends
Food and clothes
Shelter
Entertainment

Leah
God's grace to me through Jesus Christ
a new pastor for our church
finding Feingold for Josiah and seeing who he really is because it works
health and life--that we didn't die from carbon monoxide poisoning last January!
family and friends

Eric
Jesus
Family
God's provision in work, food, and shelter
friends
sour cherry balls

We finished the meal with homemade cinnamon rolls and to be honest, I don't think anyone was missing turkey. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!!

what difference does Bible study make?

This month marks the 10-year-anniversary of joining a community Bible study. When I got the call from my leader that a space had opened for me to come, I was a young mom 7 months pregnant with my second child, and had my hands delightfully full with a toddler. I thought I knew pretty much everything I needed to know about God, about parenting, and about how life works.

I remember the way this Bible study was first explained in an introduction class, and thought for sure the woman leading it was talking to people who didn't take the Bible very seriously. What I didn't realize at that time is I was one of those people. God had some humbling to do in my soul, a humbling that did not come easily but was necessary if I truly wanted to know Him like I said. In fact, when I began to discover the holiness of the God of the Bible, I nearly gave up on Christianity altogether. This from someone who thought she took the Bible seriously!

Thankfully, the Lord pursues His own and kept me securely in His hands. I almost wept later when I read John 6: 67-69, "You do not want to leave, too, do you?" Jesus asked the twelve. Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God." There is a preciousness in knowing my Savior that will never fade, no matter how long my life will last.

However, it is a love that is constantly fanned into a flame through the careful study of the word of God. This month I have been reflecting on this question: what difference has it made to spend 10 years in systematic Bible study, which has spanned such books as the Pentateuch, two of the gospels, all of the minor prophets, part of a major prophet, many of Paul's letters, and other books I have delved into on my own to study and share with others? What lessons have I learned along the way?

1. We really are no greater than our view of God.
A small view of God translates to small living--often for selfish pursuits. A high and lofty view of God gives way to a life that manifests Christ--for God's glory and the good of others.

2. The best way to study the Bible I have found is to first look for what it says and reveals about God, and then how He would have me respond.
The Bible is not primarily a rule book for life. It is primarily about God and His activity in human history culminating in the redemption of man. The more I understand God and His character, the more my rebellious heart is exposed to be dealt with before a holy God. And the more I see my need for a Savior, and my love for Jesus grows.

3. The Bible has one message, and every part rests on the whole.
It is impossible to understand the gospel without seeing God's wrath on sin. The Old Testament is fulfilled in the New. God is pictured both as a broken-hearted parent and a holy Judge. Everything points to Christ. We must contend with every part of Scripture to truly grasp the character of God and His purposes in dealing with man.

4. Daily prayer and Bible study is the key to growing in my relationship with God.
There are no shortcuts, and I need a steady intake of God's word and time with Him more than I need daily sustenance. In ten years of practice, it has become an unbreakable daily habit, but it is so much more than that. It is communion with God. How can intimacy grow without it?

5. The Holy Spirit is a person of the Godhead, and not an "it."
We can go through our Christian lives completely oblivious to the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. However, if we miss His work, we miss much.

6. God can use ordinary people to do extraordinary things.
When I started studying God's word, I was so shy I could hardly look a stranger in the eyes. I rarely started conversations and had no idea how to draw people out in them, nor did I care to do so. However, my weakness is the perfect showcase for God's strength to be manifest. Inexplicably, God has given me the privilege of sharing the gospel with complete strangers and see them come to Christ. He has also allowed me to shepherd around 200 women in the past 8 years through various Bible studies, and to witness lives being changed through belief in His word. Yet I feel like I am only beginning to learn the skills it takes to truly love, speak with, and disciple other believers. Truly nothing is impossible with God, and it is all about Him!! There is no greater joy than to be His instrument and see glimpses of His work.

7. The greatest threat to Satan's schemes is one saint on her knees.
Not because of what she is doing, but because God has chosen to work through prayer. He hears and answers. Christ triumphs over evil--is there any greater spectator sport than seeing answers to prayer?

8. Hell is a real place and I deserve to go there.
The more I know God, the more I see myself for who I really am. As the Holy Spirit makes me aware of my thoughts, attitudes, and actions, sin still has a hold. Truly I am an object of the grace of God.

9. The best gift I can give my spouse and children is my relationship with Jesus Christ.
They are not the center of my world--He is. I pray that He would be the center of their world as well.

10. Joy is not dependent on circumstances.
It is an attitude of my heart no matter the circumstance, because the Lord Jesus Himself IS my circumstance. My heart bows to Him no matter what may come, and I know that He can be trusted.

So much yet to learn, to forsake for my Savior, and I still don't take the Bible as seriously as I should...but I can't imagine where I would be without the Lord intervening in my life through the study of His word.

Luke 13:33 "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away."
John 17:3 "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent."

maiden voyage

It's now official--no more pretending. Happy fourth birthday, Josiah!!

The aircraft carrier was a hit. So much so, all three kids have been gathered around it for much of the day. It does look like a lot of fun, and I just might have to take my turn when they are all in bed!

Happy Birthday, Josiah!!!

Tomorrow is Josiah's birthday, but we had a family party today. He couldn't figure that out.

"I'm four, Mommy?" he asked after opening presents, after hearing the happy birthday song, and after eating cake.

"No, not yet, tomorrow," was always my reply.

"Today is my pretend birthday," he finally decided.

An aircraft carrier birthday cake...this was easy but fun to decorate!

Josiah could not keep his fingers off his cake.

Present time with some special cousins in the background. He was opening a present from Aunt Ghlea--airplanes and helicopters--which he absolutely loved. On the back of the box was an aircraft carrier.

Can you guess what we got him for his birthday? Stay tuned...he opens our gifts tomorrow.

sometimes answers only lead to more questions

The good news from our visit with a doctor in Chicago: Rachel does not have any medical conditions, autoimmune disorders, etc.

Now: we have to figure out how to deal with what we have. There are some things that are resolving, but some things we still have to work through, like joint pain that seems to have no medical basis but is still quite real to this 9-year-old.

Sounds like a place for prayerful dependence on the Lord. That is always the best place to be.

it's not what you think...

I've made a list, and checked it twice... for corn sweeteners and gluten-free, casein-free items, and I'm ready to go.

To Trader Joe's.

It will be nice to have a few more choices for things to eat around here! There are even key ingredients we've been doing without for four months. I'm hoping to find a few of those things, too.

For over a week now, Josiah's been reacting to something we can't quite figure out, so I'm remembering I need to be a bit cautious about new foods, too. (I think his reaction was to the non-organic milk we tried. Yes, we've switched back, but it took a few extra days for me to remember it was also in the homemade waffles he's been eating every morning for breakfast.)

I will go to sleep tonight dreaming of having hot dog buns again.

update on Micah and Rachel

Micah is scheduled for a little outpatient surgery on Dec. 2. He's had nosebleeds since he was a preschooler, and the ENT is going to cauterize his nose so that doesn't happen anymore. Hooray!! That will also allow some more treatment options for his sinus issues, and hopefully less sick days from here on out.

Rachel is going to a diagnostic clinic at Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago on Nov. 19. Her pediatrician would like to make sure we're not missing something like an autoimmune disorder, and the Dr. there specializes in hard-to-diagnose cases.

We're praying for healing and answers, and thankful for the direction we've been given so far.

chicken noodle soup

This recipe is super-easy, delicious, and can be made gluten-free. Enjoy!

3 1/2 c. chicken broth (2 14 1/2 oz. cans)
1/2 t. dried basil
1/2 t. dried oregano
1/2 t. poultry seasoning
1 bay leaf
1 c. broken (1 inch pieces) spaghetti or fettucini noodles (4 oz.)
1 c. cooked, diced chicken

In a large saucepan or Dutch oven, combine broth, basil, oregano, poultry seasoning, and bay leaf. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat. Add noodles, cover and cook for 6-8 min. or until the noodles are soft. Discard bay leaf. Stir in chicekn and cook until chicken is heated through. Serves 4.

Optional: Add 1 c. mixed veggies with noodles, and/or use 2 c. cooked long grain rice in place of noodles.

celebrating the little things

Today I saw Josiah's social worker, and she asked how he was doing. "Awesome!" was my reply, and I meant it.

It used to be that getting Josiah to even hold my hand was a battle. I dreaded the parking lot when we ran errands.

Today, we took a long walk to enjoy the beautiful Indian summer weather. Tucked in my hand was that of my son, by his choice, and it rarely left. This is no longer unusual, but it sure is special to me every time it happens.

I'm even starting to forget I ever considered Josiah to be my strong-willed child.

Hard to believe a change in diet could do so much.

it can be done!

About 2 weeks ago, I bought all purpose gluten-free (GF) flour and had my husband stir up our first batch of GF cookies. They tasted great, but turned into a crumbly mess. At that point I was a bit noncommittal to this whole gluten-free idea, but after a couple of weeks on it, Rachel seems to be making less night time trips to the bathroom. With that realization, I feel energized to give this whole idea more time, money, and attention. I have asked some questions, looked at a kids GF cookbook from the library, bought more flours, and today attempted my first 2 GF recipes.

We do have priorities and at the top of the list is a gluten-free taco shell. Rachel turned her nose up at corn tortillas, so we gave this recipe a try.

Mock Flour Tortillas

Ingredients
1/2 c. brown rice flour

1/2 c. rice flour

1/2 c. potato starch flour

1/2 c. tapioca flour

1 T. xanthan gum

1 t. salt

3 T. shortening

3/4 c. hot water

Directions

In a large bowl, combine flours, xanthan gum, and salt. Add shortening and cut with a pastry blender or fork until crumbly like breadcrumbs. Add water and stir with a spoon. Form into a ball with hands. Divide the dough into 12 balls. Press with a tortilla press or rolling pin, with lightly oiled plastic wrap on both the top and bottom of the dough. Preheat ungreased griddle to about 400 degrees, if electric, or until a droplet of water dropped on the griddle crackles. Cook tortillas until bubbles form and the bottoms are lightly browned. Turn and cook the other side.

While time-consuming, this was an easy recipe to make. Most of my tortillas did not turn out very round, but the samples we tasted were very good. Taco night, here we come! The tortillas are waiting in the freezer.

Next we tried sugar cookies. These were awesome! I could not even tell they were gluten-free, and the kids gobbled them up.

These were leaving the plate faster than I could take a picture!

Old Fashioned Sugar Cookies

Ingredients

1/3 c. margarine

1/3 c. shortening

1 c. rice flour

1 t. xanthan gum

1 egg

3/4 c. sugar

1 T. milk substitute

2 t. baking powder

1 t. vanilla

1/4 t. salt

1/2 c. tapioca flour

1/2 c. potato starch flour

Directions

In a large bowl, beat margarine and shortening together until creamy and well combined. Add rice flour, xanthan gum, egg, milk, baking powder, vanilla, and salt. Beat until thoroughly combined. Add tapioca flour and potato starch flour. Beat until thoroughly combined. Cover with plastic wrap and chill 3 hours. Roll out cookies and use cookie cutters, or for round cookies, place by teaspoonful on cookie sheet and flatten slightly. Bake at 375 degrees for 7-9 min. (depending on cookie size) until edges are firm and bottoms are very lightly browned. Cool on wire rack. Keep unused dough in the refrigerator until ready to use.

This is not an inexpensive way to eat, so I'm also trying to come up with creative ways to save money and use less carbs for Rachel in general. Thankfully, she loves meat, fruits, and veggies. Popcorn and baked potatoes are great for snacks, too. Still waiting to see if this will help her with joint pain, but if urinary tract issues are clearing up, I have to wonder...

Rachel takes the lead by a slim margin

This tops the charts for the sickest fall we have ever had! After both kids had over 20 missed school days last year (that was each!), I thought we were a shoo-in for a mild winter in terms of illness. At this point, haven't they had it all?

Now, only 50 days into a new school year, my kids have managed to make sure at least one of them is home with me at least half the time. Micah has missed 13 1/2 days, Rachel 14.

It's been a tough fall for Micah because of allergy issues which have led to sinus infections. He finally went to see an ENT and had a CT scan yesterday. We go back for the results next week. My hope is now that everything froze, he'll be healthier. But when you've been sick as often as he has over the past 2 years, it's time to get it checked out.

The news might be a little better for Rachel. After a year and a half of tummy troubles, we think we've narrowed the culprit down to milk. Strangely, it doesn't seem to be all milk, but since we aren't quite sure what she can and can't tolerate, she's staying away completely from now on. The bad news is, it takes at least 4 days for her to get over it every time, which knocked her out for most of this week. We do meet with the Dr. next week to go over all of Rachel's issues and see where to go from here.

Josiah, who won the award for sickest baby, is now our healthy boy. I have to be thankful for that silver lining!!

Now, for that mild winter we were hoping for...

Scratch that. I'd rather learn to take whatever God gives, and lean on Him through it. Sick kids or not, I'm finding that's the best place to be.

cute video

This link dedicated to Rachel, our resident fox-lover.

we tried so hard!

Rachel is sick this morning. But we finally have it narrowed down to milk intolerance. Lesson learned: no more milk chocolate bars!

a new way to celebrate Halloween

This was our first Feingold-friendly Halloween. It was a little bit comforting to read this article printed on the homepage of our daily newspaper and know we are not the only ones who have to deal with food allergies on Halloween. We got lots of great hints from other Feingold families on how to make Halloween special in spite of the fact almost all candy cannot be eaten by two of my children. It made for a different kind of celebrating, but I don't think anyone missed out on the fun!!

Rachel at her school parade.

Josiah loved watching the parade. No, he's not the donkey from Shrek, or Eeyore. He's Jasper the Mule, based on a video we received from Grandma Netta. Eric's mom made this adorable costume.

We've continued the hunt for a reason for Rachel's joint pain, so far ruling out many things but not getting to the root of the problem, so she's on a trial gluten-free diet. Many of her symptoms do match a sensitivity to wheat (celiac has been ruled out by a blood test), but we don't know for sure. It was hard to say no to Krispy Kreme donuts and Fruit by the Foot, but we had some gluten-free brownies and pretzels on hand for her school party. I'm so proud of her! Josiah ate an organic cupcake with naturally colored frosting and sprinkles. I keep these things in the freezer for such an event.

Micah was a dragon (he made his costume himself), Rachel a cowgirl, and of course Josiah the mule.

We were ready for at least a little candy fun! My parents ordered some naturally flavored gummies for Josiah online, and Rachel got a Ghirardelli chocolate bar. Here Josiah is enjoying some approved Jelly Belly candies.

What happened to all the candy? The kids exchanged it for a toy they had chosen a few nights ago. And Eddie, smelling chocolate, is investigating to see if he can find any morsels leftover. Micah is putting Josiah's Lego helicopter together. His "newly hatched" Megablocks dragon is nearby.

I'm a little ashamed to admit that instead of buying candy, we gave away the kids' stash to trick or treaters. Rachel is manning the station with her Little Kinz, which she can't wait to log on when I'm done here!! Next year I have a better idea: Yummy Earth lollipops and Halloween pencils. Even kids with peanut allergies can enjoy those treats!

fearing God

This summer after making the decision to visit the Creation Museum near Cincinnati, OH, we did something I will never regret. After paying an arm and a leg to get in to the museum, we gave another arm to see a planetarium show. Yes, it was expensive. No, we will never have quite that kind of experience anywhere else. This was space from a Biblical perspective!

The part of the show that will never leave my memory was when the narrator began to take us away from our solar system. I don't remember the details exactly (my memory, though certainly taken in by the scene, isn't that great) but it seemed as though every time we moved out, we did so by a power of ten--perhaps based on the size of our own galaxy. Galaxies, massive suns, and nebulae, an expanse which made my head spin, met our eyes again and again. Out further and further, to the very edges of the known (known!!) universe. Then back in again, by a power of ten each time. I lost track of counting how many times we moved in somewhere around 20.

How big is God? This is what I wonder every time I look up at the stars for any period of time. It is all there to see as much as we can with the naked eye--the massive expanse of space, and knowledge of an even bigger God who created it all. It is an amazing thought to consider that same God took on the form of a human body, a body He will retain forever, and entered into one time and one space through His Son to redeem the one thing in all creation that rebels against His authority: man. "What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" (Ps. 8:4)

A certain sense of that bigness of God will be with me now for as long as I live. But as I study the book of Isaiah this year, I'm challenged in a new way to consider the magnificent size of God. As He commands nations to accomplish His sovereign plans, as He gives His prophet a glimpse of His holiness, as He pursues His own people in mercy and discipline, as He promises the coming Messiah to take care of a problem so massive they can't fix it on their own, the size of God grows by powers of ten. And that is a good thing, as I come to fear Him by just barely learning to grasp God in my mind as big as He truly is in reality. It will take all eternity to stand in awe of who He really is.

A sense of the holiness and grand nature of God in any soul gives way for more of His authority, holiness, and reverence in a life that beholds Him. Not that that life knows much of this: for a quick glance at a holy God leaves one bowing, trembling, and sick at heart at the thought of being in the presence of such a Being as this. Only by the blood of Christ can such a glimpse give way to life and not death. Yet perhaps there is both: death to the horror of self and the sin that infects it, "Woe to me...I am ruined!" and life in this: "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."

I can hardly look, yet it's getting awfully hard to turn my gaze away.

roasted pumpkin seeds

When I was young, we had a tradition of roasting pumpkin seeds in the oven after we carved our pumpkins. My mom used a little butter and some salt, and then you put them in the oven at 300 for about 45 minutes. This year I tried a new recipe for sweet pumpkin seeds, and the kids LOVED it!! It's very simple: some sugar and cinnamon. I made both varieties and they are quickly disappearing, although I have to admit the cinnamon/sugar are my favorite as well.

What good are pumpkin seeds? They are a great source of protein, magnesium, iron, and zinc!

"It's getting faller and faller!"

It may not be proper English, but sometimes a three-year-old has a better grasp of words to express the changes all around than I do.

The "golden tree" goes from green to leafless in the matter of a week. When it looks like this, we linger in our gaze.

Starved Rock... a beautiful reflection of a more beautiful Creator.

I think I recognize these three hikers!

A couple of young deer didn't know enough to be afraid. And they were surrounded by at least 20 people who watched them in as much amazement as they watched us!

Rachel named her newest Webkinz "Forest." With a name like that, how could I say no to his presence on our hike? Josiah brought his sidekick Jasper along, too.

It is very convenient that Starved Rock is halfway between here and Rockford. When Eric's sister's family let us know they would be spending an afternoon there, we jumped at the chance to join them. It was the first time I heard no complaints from Rachel while on a long hike. Her reason? "Mom, Anna was there!"

Greek yogurt, anyone?

Last week I tried Greek yogurt for the first time, and I'm hooked. It was a bit pricey, and I couldn't find any researched brands to try with Josiah. So...today I made my own! It turned out fine and tastes great. All you have to do is strain regular yogurt through a cheese cloth and sieve for 5-6 hours. A bowl underneath collects the extra fluid. I mixed Dannon plain with Dannon vanilla to cut the sugar content. Yum!!! Next time I may have to try some added fruit, or maybe plain with a little honey or maple syrup.

He loves me, He loves me not?

One of my favorite preschool books is called Love is a Handful of Honey. How can I not love lines like, "Love is that full of beans feeling that makes you leap out of your bed. Love is what makes you throw open the curtains and somersault round on your head...love's skipping out in the morning and hoping the day never ends, and love's what you feel when you all get together and go on adventures with friends."

Yet as I have read this book with my children, I've been bothered by a somewhat nebulous feeling of love thrown around from morning to night. So when we snuggle up close to read it together, we talk about how the love of God follows us through the day, making the sun shine brighter and each moment full of joy and meaning.

But what do we do with the moments that seem devoid of the love of God?

Sometimes, loved ones are taken from us in one beat of the heart.
Sometimes, financial catastrophe.
Sometimes, a friendship ends.
Sometimes, we get the news we have always dreaded yet somehow felt was a long time in coming.
Sometimes, the trials seem as though they will never end.

Where is love in this?

Amy Carmichael captured it this way:

The son found himself in a barren place.

His Father said, "In this place I will give you the peace that you are longing for. Here I will give you spiritual food that will nourish you. You are always with Me--no matter what the circumstances--and all that I have is yours."

Then the Father, with great gentleness, drew the son to himself. Quietly He said, "I am the one who allowed you to come into these humbling circumstances and who allowed you to hunger. I did this so that I might feed you with manna--My bread from heaven!

"Only in this way could I help you to know that you cannot live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from My mouth."

The son said, "Give me this bread always!"

And when he grew thirsty he learned to cry, "The light of your face is my life!"

Later still, the son wondered why one like himself, who was so richly fed and cared for at times, should at other times feel so poor and needy and thirsty.

His Father replied by asking four questions:

"Can someone who has never thirsted know how precious is My living water?

"Can someone who has never discovered rivers of these living waters flowing on barren heights--can he ever lead his thirsty friend to those rivers?

"Can someone who has never walked the deep valleys of the spirit help a friend who is fainting--or lead this friend to the well-springs that will save the life of his soul?

"Can someone who has never seen burning sands in the wilderness turn into a refreshing pool--can he speak in praise of My marvels, or My power?"

The circumstances of our lives always speak the love of God. There are times we must simply listen more closely, but those are the times that will especially draw us to Him.

"Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it." Gen. 28:16

just for fun...

A video on Amazon's website about how Yummy Earth lollipops are made. OK--so now I know they ARE mostly sugar. But no artificials!

I think I'll go grab one anyway...I'm drooling after watching it. They really are the best I've ever tasted, and I don't even like lollipops!

new power-packed snack idea

Homemade Hummus

1 can garbanzo beans (also called chickpeas), rinsed, drained, and pureed in food processor

1/3 c. tahini sesame paste

2 T. fresh lemon juice

1 T. extra virgin olive oil

salt and pepper to taste (I didn't use any, and added cumin to season)

Season with (choose one or any combination): 1/2 t. cumin, 2 oz. jalepano pepper, 1/2 c. fresh parsley leaves, some fresh basil, roasted red peppers, garlic, fresh veggies, or whatever else you like.

Stir ingredients until blended. Stuff contents into pita bread and enjoy! Store hummus in refrigerator.

Josiah doesn't eat much meat, but this is high in iron and protein. I'm looking forward to seeing what else I can sneak into this recipe.

A big thanks to Aunt Amy's low sugar snack ideas which inspired us on this one!!

Sorry this post is smashed together. I cannot figure out how to fix it!

so many pieces to the puzzle

I really thought, when I first read about trying an additive-free diet, that we would try it, it would work, and life would go on its merry way.

That did happen, in part. We've been simply amazed by the results we've seen in Josiah, and then in Rachel.

But it hasn't been as simple as taking man-made chemicals out of his food.

As we played with Josiah's diet, we also noticed he reacted to chocolate and corn sweeteners. His behavior and attention literally improve daily. I thought, "Hooray, we've found them all!"

Not so fast.

Last week we reintroduced tomatoes. Why take them out to begin with? When Dr. Feingold was treating patients and discovering the connection between ADHD and food additives, he also stumbled across a group of foods containing salycilates. These foods are related to the compounds found in aspirin, are naturally occurring, and seem to help plants ward off pests. When he started having patients remove these foods in addition to the ones with chemical additives, his success rate in treatment was greatly improved. It has been a bit of a mystery to understand why these foods cause trouble, but more recent research is beginning to point to some reasons. There is a lot of technical science behind this I'm not yet able to articulate (I'm a mom, not a dr!) but it seems to come down to this: some kids simply have trouble ridding their bodies of toxins. And it's not just kids with ADHD. Children with autism, asthma, and allergies also seem to have this in common. (For more on this issue, read the book Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma, and Allergies by Dr. Kenneth Bock.) Children with ADHD may not only have trouble with food additives, they may also have trouble with other substances found in food that normally do not cause trouble in the general population. These substances can include chemicals such as salycilates, gluten, casein, and a number of other things. (This is one reason why a gluten-free, casein-free diet is now being recommended for children with autism and ADHD, and is the "why" behind why it works.)

Back to the tomatoes! Last week we enjoyed a Papa John's pizza, which Josiah ate very enthusiastically. We watched him carefully for reaction and saw things looked good. So a few days later, I gave him a brand of organic "spaghettios." He was thrilled and ate several helpings. Then we started to see old behaviors return. Josiah grew quickly and easily frustrated, more crying, more hyperactivity, and more hunger.

We recognized the hunger and frustration about 1 month into the Feingold program. After reading symptoms, I realized he was probably dealing with low blood sugar: hypoglycemia. I read that the difference between a child with normal hunger pains and a child with hypoglycemia is the force with which they ask for food. Josiah is ready to eat your arm when he's hungry, and there's no amount of telling him he needs to wait for snack time that will convince him to ride out the hunger pangs in his little belly. There are somewhat reliable blood tests to check for hypoglycemia, but the best way to test it is to increase protein and see if the symptoms get better. We did this with Josiah, making sure every snack time and meal time included something high in protein. His symptoms improved.

But now, after eating a good helping of tomatoes twice in one week, the symptoms had returned. More reading, and I discovered that hypoglycemia is exacerbated by food sensitivities.

So now we're back to the drawing board. Should I let him have tomatoes at all? Try for once a week? We'll find out. And meanwhile, I continue to hold off trying other salicylate foods like apples, grapes, oranges, berries, and several other fruits. And if he continues to show signs of hypoglycemia, I wonder about more food sensitivities. Perhaps we should try casein-free, even gluten-free for a trial period and see how things go. While we haven't made any decisions yet, it's something we are considering. I find it interesting that kids often crave the very foods to which they are sensitive. Josiah craves dairy and especially carbs. Those are the foods with gluten and casein.

The mystery continues! But we've come so far in understanding what his body needs and why he behaved the way he did. I can't imagine how rotten he must have felt before we started this journey.

*An update: after talking over Josiah's symptoms with a nurse, she suggested we make an appointment with his pediatrician to check things out further.

enjoying this moment...

-when the sky is blue, the temperatures are perfect, the flowers are blooming, and I can still walk my daughter to school

-when my oldest has not yet hit puberty and is just an absolute joy to live with

-when my two youngest children still disappear in the basement to play and enjoy each other's company for hours on end

-when I can lead in Bible Study Fellowship under one of the best Bible teachers I have ever heard, enjoying the companionship of godly women who have a passion to serve Christ and help others know Him

-when my youngest has not yet started school and is delighting in things like learning to write numbers and use scissors

-when the house is still sort of clean from the fellowship I hosted this week

-when all of our children think it is weird to waste a lot of time watching TV

-when my youngest runs into my arms with a bear hug saying, "I missed you!"

-when a sports season ends and I can take a breath before the holidays begin

-when my daughter wants to be Alice in Wonderland for Halloween

-when my husband and I have to carve out time for ourselves so as not to forget our mission in the midst of the busyness of life

-when I know God better than I used to but not nearly as well as I will

chicken recipe

My kids have been begging for KFC. I experimented and seemed successful in coming up with my own recipe for fried chicken. This is nowhere near the KFC recipe, but I heard no complaints. Well, except from the littlest, who seems to be making it his life goal to eat as little meat as possible.

Fried Chicken Legs

5 chicken legs
2 egg whites
1 c. panko breadcrumbs
1/4 c. flour
salt and pepper to taste--maybe throw in some garlic powder, too, if you like
1-2 T. canola oil

Mix breadcrumbs, flour, and seasoning together in shallow dish. Dip chicken legs (or any other kind of chicken) in egg whites and then in breadcrumb mixture. Fry chicken in frying pan coated with oil. When crunchy, transfer legs to 8x8 pan. Bake at 350 degrees until juices run clear.

it just keeps getting better and better: a little update

In the past two weeks, we've completely removed corn sweeteners from Josiah's diet. What a change! Normal preschool behavior is now the rule around here, not the exception, and we've seen fewer bumps in the road. I'm hopeful that we have found most of his sensitivities.

We've celebrated by experimenting with eating out. Tomatoes are back on our list of things we can eat! We've had Fazoli's (the pizza and pasta with marinara sauce are good, and we brought in our own homemade rolls in place of breadsticks) and Papa John's pizza with no troubles. Josiah couldn't quit commenting on how much he loved his pizza.

Rachel continues dairy-free. We cut her loose one weekend, only to have her get sick again. She is seeing a pediatric GI specialist in Peoria next week.

romance according to a 9-year-old

I love tucking my kids into bed. What a great time of the day to spend with them one on one. It seems that all the cares and delights of the world spill out at this time of the day. How much do bedtime conversations shape the life of a child?

Not too long ago, my daughter was all snuggled down in her bed, ready to be tucked in. We chatted about her new Sunday School teacher, which led to a conversation about abortion (the teacher works in the local Pregnancy Resource Clinic, which we visited about a year ago.) Then a question: "Mom, how do women have babies without a husband?" Then an honest sigh. "I just don't get that."

We haven't had "The Talk" yet, so I gently prodded to see if she was ready. "Do you know how babies are made, Rachel?" I asked. She shook her head. "Do you want to know?"

"Yes, Mom, but when you are ready to tell me, please get me a trash can. I think I will throw up."

additive-free diet: questions and answers

It has now been 2 months since our family officially began eating additive-free. When I began to see changes in my son's behavior as a result, my mind quickly went to other families, individuals, and children who struggle with ADHD and other disorders that could also be helped. I began to pray for opportunities to tell our story. God has already answered, allowing occasions to talk with both individuals and groups. With that in mind, I thought I would post some questions and answers to help those who may visit here hoping to learn more.

1. How did you hear about an additive-free diet?

God planted many seeds along my path over the years. In my training as a special education teacher, my textbooks mentioned the Feingold diet, which was pioneered by Dr. Feingold in the 1950's-1970's. Dr. Feingold was an allergist who stumbled across a diet that seemed to help many children dealing with learning and behavior problems. He published his findings in the 1970's, but they were quickly dismissed by the medical community after other studies seemed to show little correlation between diet and behavior. That was the information I learned while in college. However, as an Early Childhood Education teacher I taught students who were identified as ADHD even as preschoolers. One of my students came into our program almost unmanageable, but made huge gains in his behavior after his mom changed his diet. I also have a dear sister-in-law who quietly used Feingold with her own children. Although I was a bit skeptical due to the information I had learned in college, I decided many years ago that if I ever had a child with ADHD, I would try diet changes before using medication.

2. If you were a skeptic, what convinced you to try this with your own child?

An additive-free diet, while perhaps complicated to implement at first, is not harmful in any way. It is simply an elimination diet, and it would only take a matter of weeks to see if it was helpful. Also, more recent studies indicate that this diet is effective for some children, and one released just this month is even beginning to pinpoint why it works.

Medication, on the other hand, has side effects. For ADHD, medication is most often used to help children focus in order to learn in school. I needed something that would help my child behave at home!

3. What does your doctor say?

I'm anxious to know this myself! Josiah has a well-check coming up in a few months, and I hope we can talk more at that appointment. However, she did mention dietary changes as one option to try with Josiah. There is quite a bit of evidence that indicates gluten-free diets are helpful for children with ADHD and Autism. One book on this topic, The Autism and ADHD Diet, actually suggests eliminating food additives as a first step before going gluten (and even casein) free. (These diets eliminate wheat and milk products.) By the way, gluten-free and casein-free are more complicated and eliminate entire food groups; therefore, additive-free is a great first step!

While many pediatricians and doctors may be skeptical of the effectiveness of an additive-free diet, there is more and more evidence coming out regarding diet and its effects on social/emotional disorders. The American Academy of Pediatrics does recommend that doctors suggest trying an additive-free diet to patients struggling with hyperactivity (see article in sidebar to right.)

4. Have you found anything else Josiah is sensitive to, besides food additives?

Yes, we have. He cannot tolerate any amount of chocolate and also seems to be sensitive to corn sweetener like high fructose corn syrup or dextrose. We've also discovered that Josiah does much better with plenty of protein. We're not sure if this is due to a blood sugar problem or simply because he does not like meat and wasn't getting enough in his diet to begin with.

5. How do you know he's having a reaction, and how long does it last?

We can tell Josiah is having a reaction to food when he reverts to pre-diet behaviors. He yells, hits, kicks, becomes hyperactive, loses impulse control, and will sometimes plug his ears and bang on them. Reactions can last anywhere from a few hours to 3 days.

6. How has this diet changed your eating/cooking/shopping habits?

First let me say, I never have considered myself much of a cook. I can follow recipes but really did not enjoy spending much time in the kitchen. However, when the well-being of my child was at stake, it was amazing how that changed my motivation! For me, cooking this way is an adventure and I am learning all kinds of new things. My time in the kitchen is well-rewarded with delicious food! Two of my children love to cook, so this is a great time of bonding with them, one I may have missed out on without this forced change in our lifestyle.

I think additive-free has also forced us to eat better nutritionally. While there may be things we can no longer eat, there is a whole world of good, nutritious food yet to be explored. We consume more whole grains, we're trying for more veggies, and eating more food with real ingredients. Not only that, it really tastes better to eat this way than to eat processed food.

When we started eating additive-free, our grocery bills did go up. However, now that I've found more options at our local supermarket, my bills are dropping back down to where they were before, even though I can no longer use as many coupons. I think this may be because cooking more from scratch is saving us money!

7. If only Josiah is affected, why are you all eating this way? How do your other kids feel about it?

After reading the research on food additives, I really don't want to be consuming them full time. There is mounting and convincing evidence that they may cause cancer, along with other health problems.

For the cook's sake, it is much easier to prepare one meal we can all eat than make something special on the side for Josiah. It also feels safer to eat in our house when we know all the food in the cupboards is safe to consume by everyone. My husband doesn't have to worry that he's given Josiah a snack that he shouldn't have simply because it was in the cupboard and available!

Micah and Rachel have been very supportive of diet changes. I know Micah misses his Cool Ranch Doritos and other snacks, but he sees the difference in Josiah's behavior and feels that it is worth it not to have any at home. He also loves all the homemade food!

Also, we've found that Josiah is not the only family member that has benefited from being additive-free. Rachel seems to also be affected by food additives, although she is less sensitive. They seem to make her moody and anxious. She can feel the difference when she's not eating them, and also feels like it is worth it to stay away from food with additives. If our entire family hadn't been on the diet, we would not have known Rachel could be helped as well.

I do try very hard to offer my kids delicious substitutes whenever possible. We've bought some natural candies like Yummy Earth lollipops, B-Fresh Gum, and Sunspire Chocolate Candies (a natural version of M&M's) to have on hand in exchange for the treats we used to have.

8. If I'd like to go additive-free for health benefits, where can I start?

Start by reading labels! Look for anything artificial: preservatives like BHT, BHA, TBHQ, and maybe sodium benzoate; or artificial colors, flavors, or sweeteners.

If you would really like to start slowly, simply begin with eliminating artificial colors. Taking this small step will remove a lot of other harmful additives and excess sugar from you and your family's diet (according to July/Aug. Pure Facts, published by the Feingold Association).

9. I think my child would benefit from going additive-free for behavioral or learning issues. Where should I start?

The Feingold Organization is an excellent way to start. Their web address is http://www.feingold.org/. In addition to an excellent website, you can purchase a membership which includes a monthly newsletter, a foodlist of researched foods for your location, a fast food guide, and a handbook that explains how to put the diet into practice. Their member's message board is also invaluable to talk with and ask questions of other parents who have used the Feingold diet.

I have had professionals tell me that they've rarely seen this level of success for a child on an additive-free diet. I do not think that is because Josiah is unusual; I think it is because you really have to get additives completely out of the diet to see success. This would not have been possible for us without the Feingold membership. The additives can be hidden in food or even packaging, so reading labels is not enough to remove it completely from the diet.

10. Be honest, is this hard to do?

I will be honest. The first few weeks were tough. I had to learn new brands, new ways of doing things, and find new recipes. However, once we were past the first month, things got much easier.

One of the hardest things for us is finding ways to eat away from home. There are a few restaurants that we are just beginning to try, including McDonald's and Fazoli's. I've had to talk to Rachel's teacher about sending in special food for her to eat instead of birthday treats and classroom snacks/rewards. I was pleased to find her very easy to work with. Josiah has to have a special diet wherever he goes, but so far that has gone well, too. If we go to a birthday party or other social outing, I have to bring along pre-made cupcakes or cookies, or even pack him his own lunch/supper.

I really cannot say this is a burden, however. It was hard to manage an out-of-control child and see how he was affected by food additives. It is relatively easy to learn a different way of cooking. I love the way our relationship has already changed as a result of less family stress. Believe me, this is well-worth every effort I put into it!!

chicken recipes!

Here are a couple of recipes we tried this week. Although I include information on adding onion and garlic, I always leave these out for my family because I am allergic to them. Enjoy!

Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup
from the Feingold recipe board...thanks, Susan!
2 lbs. chicken (whole or pieces)
large pot of water
2 tsp. salt (or less)
1/2 tsp. pepper
1/2 tsp. dried basil
1/2 tsp. dried organo
carrots, onions, and celery to taste (this is a throw it together kind of recipe!)
egg noodles (or spaghetti, broken into 2 in. pieces)

Put chicken in large pot of water, enough to cover. Boil chicken until done. Remove from pot and then remove bones and skin. Cut chicken into 1/2 in. pieces. Skim foam off of liquid in pot. Add salt and pepper to liquid. Chop celery and carrots into 1/2 in. chunks. Add vegetables, chopped onion, and chicken to broth. Simmer for about 20-30 min. until veggies are tender. Add noodles. Continue to cook until noodles are done. Serve with fresh, homemade bread or rolls.

*We had a busy morning, so I boiled the chicken and then poured the water and meat into a crockpot for a few hours. After removing the bones and skin from chicken, I added spices and noodles and cooked for a few more hours. Yummy! Would you believe this is the first time I've ever used chicken thighs? And now I know how to make homemade chicken broth--less salty than canned.

Brown Sugar Chicken
from A Year of Slow Cooking (see link to the right)

12 boneless, skinless chicken thighs or 6 boneless breast halves
1 c. brown sugar
1/4 c. lemon-lime soda
2/3 c. vinegar
3 cloves smashed and chopped garlic
2 T. soy sauce
1 tsp. ground black pepper

Place chicken in crockpot. Cover with brown sugar, pepper, garlic, and soy sauce. Add the vinegar and pour in the soda. It will bubble. Cover and cook on low for 6-9 hours, or on high 4-5 hours. The longer you cook it, the more tender it will be. Serve over a bowl of white or brown rice with a ladle full of broth.

experiments in the kitchen

It has been a lot of fun to play around with food here lately. Here's a glimpse of what we are learning in the kitchen!

-Dairy substitutes that rock:
Rachel's pediatrician suggested we pull her off dairy for a few weeks to see if that helps some of her digestive issues. The jury is still out, but it is interesting trying to cook without milk or cheese. However, after trying several substitutes we found a new "milk" that tastes much like the real thing--So Delicious Vanilla Coconut Milk. Imagine eating pancakes made with coconut milk! Micah claimed they are the best he's ever eaten. Rachel also gave a thumbs up to So Delicious Vanilla Ice Cream (made with soy milk). I'm excited about the added nutrients we are gaining by making more choices about what we are serving in our food. However, the price is a bit steep on coconut milk yogurt. I'm a little relieved she wasn't crazy about that one.

-Carob IS a great replacement for chocolate.
I have greatly disliked some carob products in the past, but the cookies Rachel made for us last night with carob chips taste better than the ones with regular Ghirardelli chocolate chips! We tested Josiah with chocolate one more time, but it seems that he just can't tolerate it. I'm so thankful to have found a delicious substitute. Rachel, however, doesn't agree with me on this one.

-What are the many uses of quinoa?
I was drawn to this grain because it is high in protein and iron, which seemed like a perfect fit for my little boy who barely touches meat of any kind. Josiah likes rice and I've heard this can be used in its place. We tried it last night boiled in chicken broth. It tasted a little different but pretty good, and Josiah did try a couple of spoonfuls. Recipes, anyone? I'd love to try some different ways of fixing this.

-Yellow and red make orange.
We took a dab of yellow mustard and a dab of red ketchup, put them in a ziplock bag, and mashed them around. Voila! Orange! Now, to throw the bag away or find a hot dog...

-How do you make a kitchen volcano?
Josiah loved our preschool theme today: volcanoes! We found a simple preschool version of the homemade volcano that we could repeat again and again. Measure 1 tsp. of baking soda in one plastic cup, and then mix white vinegar with food coloring. To see what happens, watch below! (I am envying my friends and family who homeschool; I know the things you do are even cooler than this.) Josiah's quote: "Very good erupting!"

wonders never cease

Ever since he was a toddler, there have been about 2 ways to calm Josiah down when he's out of control: playdoh and reading books. He has never sat down and looked at books on his own, however. But in the past week, I have seen him sitting in a chair, looking at magazines. Today, he perched precariously on the edge of our bed and "read" the entire story of Danny and the Dinosaur aloud to himself. (I really think balancing this way gave his body something to do while his brain was otherwise engaged! Too cute!)

some hard data and great news

I've read the study from the Lancet, a British publication which decidedly linked food additives with hyperactivity in normal children ages 3 and 8/9. This is the study that brought warning labels to foods that include artificial dyes (in Europe). However, I was shocked today to discover this was published in a publication by the American Academy of Pediatrics, also in response to the Lancet study. The editor's note strongly urges doctors to give an additive-free diet a try in hyperactive children. Here is an especially telling excerpt:

For the child without a medical, emotional, or environmental etiology of ADHD behaviors, a trial of a preservative-free, food coloring–free diet is a reasonable intervention... Although quite complicated, this (the 2007 study published in the Lancet) was a carefully conducted study in which the investigators went to great lengths to eliminate bias and to rigorously measure outcomes. For many of the
assessments there were small but statistically significant differences of measured behaviors in children who consumed the food additives compared with those who did not. In each case
increased hyperactive behaviors were associated with consuming the additives. For those comparisons in which no statistically significant differences were found, there was a trend for more hyperactive behaviors associated with the food additive drink in virtually every assessment. Thus, the overall findings of the study are clear and require that even we skeptics, who have long doubted parental claims of the effects of various foods on the
behavior of their children, admit we might have been wrong."

On a wonderfully positive note, we met with Josiah's social worker last Friday. She talked us through some helpful things to try with him, and then dismissed him from further therapy because he is doing so well. He saw her for less than 2 months! Interestingly enough, she thinks his behavior concerns are more likely linked to anxiety issues than to ADHD. Apparently anxiety in preschoolers can manifest itself as ADHD-type symptoms. I've yet to read the data on this but am intrigued, based on what we know about his personality.

Anxiety, ADHD...whatever it is, he is like a different child these days and less encumbered by any of it. I think he's chemically sensitive!

thanks for praying...

Rachel was back at school today, a smile on her face and a bounce in her step.

We're still praying for wisdom as to what may be causing her frequent illnesses and other health issues.

But for now, it's good to see her well!

a song of praise to our God

"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead...on him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many." 2 Cor. 1:8-11

Many times in the life of the youngest boy who has come to live in our house, I have sat down in a quiet place, head in my hands, fire in my heart, tears in my eyes, crying out to God. The challenges were greater than my strength to endure, the days longer than my patience, the situations I found myself in greater than my wisdom. A few times I seemed to stumble on to a solution, only to find myself even more disappointed when the next problem arose even more difficult than the last. Then I stood face to face with my greatest problem: not my son, but me.

There is no time to meet yourself like in adversity. If God ever opened my eyes to all of my sin, I know I could not endure. But there are times He does open them to much of it, so that the despair over self increases to the point of no hope. No hope...but One.

It is when I realize my utter inability to navigate the difficulties of life, that the Savior becomes ever more precious than before. There, at the right hand of God, is my righteousness, interceding inexplicably on my behalf. There I find my true self, bowing at the feet of the only one who deserves worship...not self, not comfort, not circumstances, but an eternal Lamb who has given Himself in my place. He is my rescue, my comfort, my hope.

"Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore I have set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame. He who vindicates me is near. Who then will bring charges against me? Let us face each other! Who is my accuser? Let him confront me. Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God." Isaiah 50:7-8

Sometimes I see God's tangible deliverance: waters part, the Red Sea now crossed. I find myself on the other side not yet complete, but only just begun in this walk of faith. Much is yet to be learned of my dependence on Him, and lack thereof.

But no way am I staying in Egypt, nor looking back with wistful eyes. The Lord has delivered from the bondage of sin. May I learn more of what this means.

"The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him...Who among the gods is like you, O Lord? Who is like you--majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders?" Ex. 15:2, 11

how do you like...

Our cupcakes and cookies, colored with natural food coloring and sprinkles? :)

I used an organic cake mix, but am ready to try a cake from scratch. Has anyone else done this? I'll take any and all advice!

The blue is a little more of a gray-purple, but red and yellow are very nice!

a comparison...

Shopping and preparing foods free from artificial additives is not as hard as it might sound. The learning curve was steep the first few weeks as I read through ingredients and tried by myself to find foods that would work. My job got much easier when I joined the Feingold Association and received their food guide: a list of foods carefully researched and known to be free from artificial ingredients or preservatives. I also received a recipe book with some wonderful help in making homemade items that are otherwise pricey or hard to find.

I've noticed the following changes in my shopping habits and bills. Some items are more expensive, some (especially those things I can make myself) are quite a bit cheaper. My grocery bill is higher than it used to be, but it keeps dropping as I locate more foods and buy things on sale. I do have to shop more food stores now, but am learning to stock up as I go so I can make less trips. Stocking up is one reason why my initial bills are higher. Another is because I have to re-purchase staples, but then once they are replenished, they will last for a long time.

Here is a snapshot of what we used to eat, followed by what we eat now. Most foods are very brand-specific, but since the Feingold food guide is copyrighted, I am trying to share just a few brands to give an idea of what the changes are like. I put a dollar sign next to those foods that are more expensive to buy. As you can see, there's a lot of variation in what was more expensive before vs. after switching to Feingold (FG).

Breakfast

Before FG:

Honey Nut Cheerios, store brand frozen waffles ($)
imitation maple syrup, bagels with cream cheese, instant oatmeal, Juicy Juice or orange juice

After FG:

Grape Nuts cereal, homemade waffles, Natural Ovens Brainy bagels with Kraft cream cheese, real maple syrup, homemade oatmeal, pear or pineapple juice

Lunch

Before FG:

Peanut butter sandwich on store-bought bread ($), Campbell’s soups, grilled cheese made with Kraft American cheese slices, Oscar Mayer deli meats, Spaghettios, Tyson’s chicken nuggets and OreIda French Fries, Kraft macaroni and cheese, Lowfat store brand milk

After FG:

Peanut butter sandwich on homemade bread, Amy’s soups ($--homemade will be cheaper but these are very yummy and quick), grilled cheese made with Land O Lakes white American cheese ($), tortilla wrap made with Azteca tortilla, Boar’s Head ($) or Hormel Naturals lunch meats; Ian’s chicken nuggets and Alphatots ($), Annie's Macaroni and Cheese ($-but I found it on sale at Target for $1 a box!), Organic milk ($), we found a cheaper non-organic brand of lowfat that is free of additives, but noticed Josiah may react to it

Supper

Before FG:

Casseroles made with processed ingredients such as canned soups; frozen pizza, cornflake chicken, tacos, spaghetti with homemade spaghetti sauce

After FG:

Casseroles made with fresh ingredients, white pizza with whole wheat crust, chicken made with panko breadcrumbs or Grape Nuts Flakes, tacos, plain spaghetti with butter or spaghetti with white sauce or homemade sauce when we reintroduce tomatoes

Snacks

Before FG:

Goldfish crackers, Cheetos, Ritz crackers with hummus, store bought granola bars ($), marshmallows, store bought cereal bars

After FG:

Annie’s crackers, Cheetos White Cheddar Cheese Puffs, Kashi crackers with peanut butter, homemade granola bars, homemade marshmallows, homemade cereal bars

Fruits

Before FG:

Grapes, strawberries, raspberries, oranges, peaches, apples

After FG:

Pears (canned or fresh), watermelon, cantaloupe, mango (found some frozen!), kiwi, banana

Other

This gives a glimpse of how easy it is to simply switch brands and find a similar food!

Before FG:

Store brand margarine
Smart Balance tub margarine
Store brand chicken tenders
Pillsbury pull-apart cookies ($)
Kraft shredded cheeses made with 2% milk
M and M’s, other candy bars, Dum Dum lollipops,Nestle chocolate chips, imitation vanilla

After FG:

Butter or Willow Run margarine ($-but not bad!)
Earth Balance tub margarine ($)
Fresh or frozen chicken breasts with no added broth
Homemade cookies
Sargento 4 Cheese Mexican blend
Yummy Earth Lollipops ($), Ghirardelli chocolate bars (if we could do chocolate!), Ghirardelli chocolate chips, real vanilla

And a few things haven't changed a bit:
Frozen roll brand, taco shell brand (we already make homemade seasoning), eggs, lite canned or frozen fruit/veggies, animal crackers, pancake mix, hot dog brand, most chips, several clear sodas or colas, Honey Teddy Grahams, brand of bacon (although I’m anxious to try Hormel Naturals with no added nitrates), peanut butter brand (although I’ve switched to Smuckers Naturals for most things we eat--a dietician told us that food companies replace natural peanut oil with things like sugar or other less healthy oils), things like flour, sugar, most spices

A few things we've noticed with our diet: more whole grains are being included because of the homemade breads and snacks. We're eating more veggies and still keeping up our fruit consumption though for now the choices are more limited. We do use more organic simply because those foods tend to be less processed with fewer additives. After hearing the recent research on the link between ADHD and pesticides, we may also try to buy more organic fresh produce. (I'm not quite there yet.) Almost all of the new foods are more delicious (I love the Boar's Head products, carried by our Kroger)! I may be paying a bit more, but this is real food. The health and behavior trade-offs are well worth it. We eat out less, although I do have a national restaurant guide with some really great choices when we are ready to start testing out restaurant food.

The air is getting cooler, a reminder that the holiday season is not far off. I'm already thinking about how to handle Halloween candy, Thanksgiving dinner, and Christmas cookies. Watch for posts to come!

A side note: yesterday I broke my chocolate fast when I ate a small Krackle candy bar my son brought home from Sunday School. I used to love these but this time, I thought it tasted horrible.

how to live without chocolate or tomatoes...

Has it been 3 weeks, or 4? How can I have possibly lost track?

When was the last time I had some chocolate? And when did my cravings for it disappear?

(I don't mind the 4 pounds I've lost in the meantime.)

You can make pasta without tomato sauce? And pizza?

(I can't seem to leave tomato off my sandwich, nor ignore the fresh ones that keep showing up on my kitchen counter. But I have been able to cut my need for antacid medication in half.)

So, the changes that have been good for my son have proven to also be good for me. And here are some incredible recipes that have made this possible.

Alfredo Sauce
1/2 c. butter or margarine
1 c. milk
1 4. oz. pkg. cream cheese
1 c. grated Parmesan
1 pinch nutmeg (optional)

Heat butter and milk over med. heat. Add cream cheese and whip with whisk until smooth. Turn heat to low and add Parmesan cheese and nutmeg (if desired). Heat on med. until thick, stirring constantly to keep from sticking. Remove from heat.

Serve over spaghetti or fettucine.

Caramel Sauce
2 c. packed brown sugar
1 c. unsalted butter
1 c. minus 1 T. whipping cream
2 T. vanilla

Combine brown sugar, butter, and cream in heavy saucepan over medium heat, stirring until sugar dissolves. Boil 3 min., stirring constantly. Remove from heat and add vanilla. Store in refrigerator until ready to use.

Spoon over ice cream or other desserts. (Or eat it straight from the spoon.)

Note: Sauce will keep for several weeks. (Ha! Not at our house!)

The good news is, Josiah is so stable now on Feingold we are almost ready to start testing in some of the fruits and vegetables we've had to avoid for a couple of months. That means tomatoes may be back, though perhaps less frequently. My stomach seems to like the break, and many kids who are chemically sensitive can't handle large quantities of these foods. Chocolate, however, will remain at a distance for the time being.

Our next challenge: learning to live without McDonald's french fries.