Thursday, May 19, 2011

redefining hard

When I decided to join the Feingold Association to see if it would help Josiah's behavior issues, changing how we ate sounded hard.  Apparently I am not the only mom who feels this way, because I ran across a little article somewhere in materials that redefined hard.  (That article is the basis for the rest of this post.)

Little did I know what else we were in for with dairy and gluten also being a problem for the kids.  Now, it looks like we will have to go back to a gluten-free diet to bring Micah's diarrhea episodes back under control.  Once again, I find myself returning to what hard really is.

Hard is:

-trying to control your preschooler's behavior with every discipline technique you've ever heard of, only to have none of it work and thus feel like an ineffective and terrible parent.

-pulling your son off the dog or siblings every 5 minutes.

-watching your son yell and cover his ears every time he eats and not knowing why.

-trying to have a conversation with others, only to have your son interrupt every two seconds on purpose.

-not being able to find anything to keep your son busy for more than 2 minutes at a time.

-listening to someone explain the ADHD diagnosis that your 3-year-old just received, and finding out that aside from medication, the interventions offered are really not that much more helpful that what has already been tried.

Hard is:

-taking your child to dr. after dr. and being told time and again there is nothing wrong with them, even though they are experiencing diarrhea every other week.

-being told by a specialist that the dietary interventions you are trying are a waste of time.

-watching  your preteen son miss cross-country meets, field trips, end of year festivals, and scores of days of school, and then being docked a half a grade for excessive absences.

-calling the school attendance line again and wonder how many more times before they alert the truant officer.

-having a constantly disrupted routine because you never know when someone is going to be sick.

So with all those things considered, hard really is not:

having to shop from a foodlist, monitoring every bite, spending more on groceries and supplements, avoiding favorite fruits and vegetables, keeping everyone's very different food allergies in mind while cooking dinner, snacks, and desserts; going gluten and dairy free, sending your own food with your child on a trip or to camp, having less than a handful of restaurants to eat at, or wondering how your child is going to manage once they are away from home and have to do all this themselves, let alone finding a spouse who will understand.

Well, at least that's not quite as hard...maybe it's all relative.

8 comments:

Beth said...

As the wife of someone with Crohn's and the associated dietary dance we do, I can speak to your last concern...when you love someone, you want what's best for them. Period. I think you can check that one off your list. =) God will handle that for you, I know from experience. (Praying for you.)

Kathryn said...

Hang in there - it does get easier. =D

I just posted about packing for a youth retreat. Admittedly I felt annoyed by the whole process yesterday. Today I can plan with a happier heart. After all, I want him to feel good so he can bless and be blessed.

Praying.

leahjoy1 said...

Thanks, Beth! What a blessing you are both to Tim and to his mom! :) Thanks for checking that one off my list. God is good, and He knows what He is doing (and what He will do!)

And of course, there are much harder things than this!!

leahjoy1 said...

Mmm...your calzones look so yummy! I am hopeful that we will be able to do cheese again soon--it went pretty well when we tested it in. For now, we're back to the basics and will ease things in much more slowly. (To think I thought I WAS being slow!)

Thanks for your encouragement! I actually did sit down today and jotted down some meals Micah can take with him on a trip to Niagara with his grandparents and to church camp. I was surprised at how quickly I came up with 10! Now to do what you said in your post...make things and stick them in the freezer over the coming weeks.

Kathryn said...

Thanks - they were pretty easy to do. They might work with "your" rolls made the same way with the Daiya mozzarella flavor.

My goal is to find containers/wrapping supplies tomorrow and get things going in the next couple of days.

leahjoy1 said...

Tonight I made white pizza with Bob's Red Mill mix. I wonder if that would also work for calzones filled with regular pizza sauce and fillings? And with these maybe the cheese won't be missed as much? I may give it a try!

Have fun with your project. I like how you think--about how to make sure your son is a blessing as well as blessed! Sometimes our attitude is really the hardest thing about all this.

Kathryn said...

Sounds like that would work easily. You may need a little water around the edges to seal them if the dough isn't as sticky. If you put them together the way I did the olive oil will help them brown really nicely, too.

My attitude isn't always so upbeat and I often have to work on that. But Joe has taught me so much with his servant's heart. Sometimes I think he teaches me much more than I could possibly teach him - this after homeschooling him since he was five!

Good luck with your packing, too. We'll have to share some ideas as we both get things figured out a bit more. =D

leahjoy1 said...

I'd love to share ideas. You'll probably have more than I do! I'm going to have to do this three times this summer...

My husband is a servant, too. I've learned so much from his example. My guess is my youngest is going to follow suit, but I didn't make the connection until I read your comment today. That's why he's always at my side sticking his hands in everything! He's trying to help! :)