preschool ADHD...interesting fact

About two posts ago, I suggested that the child with ADHD displays behaviors typical of a preschooler except at a much higher incidence level. I found this fact yesterday to back that thinking up.

Preschool children with ADHD typically disobey twice as often and display inappropriate behavior 5 times as often as a normally-developing child. The family stress is also 3 times as high.

true or false?

For the first week of school, one of Rachel's assignments was to design a true or false test about herself. How well do you know her? Now updated with answers...

1. I'm afraid of heights. (False)
2. I like chocolate. (True!)
3. I love P.E. (False, but it is better than anticipated.)
4. I have 3 pets. (True--one dog and two cats)
5. I have a sister. (False)
6. I like Halloween more than Christmas. (False!)
7. I love hamsters. (True, and wants one desperately)
8. I'm 1 inch behind my 6th grade brother. (True, and she loved tripping everyone up with this one.)
9. I love foxes. (True!)
10. I love twist ice cream. (True)

it's official

Two days ago, we met with a psychologist and she confirmed our suspicions regarding Josiah with a diagnosis: ADHD.

Rather than feeling discouraged, I think this might have been the best thing that ever happened to him! I've looked at the symptoms over time and dismissed them. "He's a toddler, and they're full of energy, " I reasoned. "He's all boy," I told myself or heard from others.

But this summer, I took a hard look at symptoms and compared them to Josiah. They seemed to bear resemblance to one another. Here is one list of symptoms for toddlers and preschoolers with ADHD:

-Inability to sustain attention for even a few minutes
-Constantly distracted by sights and sounds around them
-Difficulty sustaining eye contact
-Able to pay attention to certain high interest things such as a favorite video game or playing outside when high energy levels are required
-Excessively hyperactive
-Always in motion
-Lack of interest in cuddling or quiet activities
-Difficulty calming down after becoming excited
-Highly impulsive: will jump off of decks, slides or out of windows, will run into the street more often
-Accident-prone
-Difficulty sleeping, may have a hard time falling asleep and may be up at 5:00 AM each morning
-Can be very talkative
-Poor social skills
-Behavioral problems, not listening, disobeying or consistent unsafe behaviors
-Can be clumsy or have underdeveloped coordination
-May grab toys from classmates, siblings or friends
-Difficulty waiting for their turn
-May be aggressive, causing fights or hitting other children

Not all of these are true of my son, but 90% are! Now I understand the up and down emotions, low tolerance for frustration, pestering of his siblings, behavior issues, lack of playing with toys, constant interrupting, and having to walk step by step through directions for activities are most likely due to ADHD. And yes, all preschoolers will exhibit these characteristics from time to time. The child with ADHD multiplies these behaviors by a factor of 10. (I've not seen that number scientifically but can attest to it experientially!)

Now I know where to look for help.

Diet-wise, we've stumbled on to more help than we would have imagined. Things are still bumpy here, but we're still learning and his body is still adjusting. Just this week, we learned that he calms down considerably when he gets enough protein. I truly wish I could have taken a video of Josiah before lunch and then after. The difference in his behavior was astounding. Before lunch, he was running at about 90 mph. After lunch, he had put his baseball cap on and walked past me, saying, "Mommy, I'm going outside to play." Did you see me use the word "walked?" And when he's running at 90 mph, it's up to me to keep him entertained; either than or he will continually pester me or the dog. He was willingly heading outside to entertain himself for a few minutes, thank you very much.

I'm just beginning to understand how his mind is wired differently for learning. He needs very concrete and step-by-step ways to learn, and the more I can involve his senses or even his entire body, the better! I was once special education teacher and should know this, but it is profoundly different to be a teacher than it is to be the parent.

So much more to learn here. I'm thankful for this journey and for the opportunity to discover more about this precious little boy.

a promising start and a new room

First day of school...the day dawned sunny, fitting in with the feelings of hope and expectation.

This year, we can walk to school. What a treat! Rachel found the 4th grade line and we waited together to go in and meet her teacher. Josiah was in charge of school supplies and comic relief.

Getting settled in her class. Her teacher, Mrs. H., is young(er than me), full of energy, and a great match for Rachel as far as we can tell. Rachel's sitting right next to a former classmate from her old school. She was one of 5 new students in her class this year. So far she loves it and comes home every day with a smile.

Micah running his first cross country meet. He was looking good at the halfway point... but struggled a bit near the end. Three of his teammates ran him to the finish line. Go Parkside! Micah loves Jr. High, especially the a la carte lunch choices. His three main teachers are all young(er than me) and he seems to like them.

Josiah's new room, painted his favorite color. It's a huge transformation from the tan walls Micah had. And we added airplanes!

trapped in time but not forever

It was an unusually perfect August evening. The air was cool, with a gentle breeze stirring the still-green leaves. The sun dazzled the world with its fading light and the park was filled with children and parents. Two of my own were there, playing with great contentment as they worked their way around the playground.

I closed my eyes and wished I could freeze this moment in time to somehow make it last forever. When I opened them, I was struck with the temporal evidence of the moment. School would soon be starting, summer would end, leaves would fall from these trees in just a few more weeks. Even the perfect weather would not hold for longer than a few more hours. Children who once delighted me with their infant, toddler, preschool, and elementary ways are growing up. My own reflection in the mirror lately reveals that 40 is not as far away as I might hope. My heart ached with the knowledge that life so quickly moves us on.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecc. 3:1, 11

I find it curious that finite beings have a longing for the infinite, until I remember it is God Himself that placed it there. I'm amazed that in His wisdom, forgiveness, and love, the infinite God entered into time through the person of His own dear Son, to reach out to the finite man He made. And one day, those of us who are trapped in time will have the opportunity to join our Maker in eternity. What a plan!

It's not just me who has these thoughts of eternity. They are in the heart of every man, woman, boy, and girl you meet. I dare myself and I dare you to ask them what thoughts they have of eternity. Then point them to the God who put those thoughts in their heart to begin with, and the Savior who makes eternity with Him possible.

Maybe it could start with the question, "Do you ever wish you could just freeze this moment?" Eternity with God, removed from the penalty, power, and presence of sin forever, will be far more glorious than any August evening.

for more information...

Check this out: http://www.school-lunch.org/.

(This is not just about school lunches, by the way! :)

changes

My mind was full as I drove Josiah to his weekly appointment to see the social worker for therapy. Should I tell her about the changes I had seen in him, or just keep quiet? As I thought through the events of the past several weeks, I decided to hold my tongue and see if she would bring the subject up herself.

When I took Josiah in to his pediatrician at the end of June, I had several concerns. Most pressing were the almost unmanageable behavior issues. The outbursts of aggression toward his siblings, the discipline that seemed to make no difference, and the impulsive actions like yelling and hitting were weighing us down. But there were other concerns as well: lack of playing with toys, sensory issues, anxiety, and frequent emotional meltdowns. Yes, some of this is expected in the behavior of a preschool boy. But these things were happening with tremendous frequency and intensity; the mom in me felt like something wasn't right. When Josiah was referred for an evaluation, I knew that somewhere down the line, someone was going to suggest medication. So I went to work researching anything natural but safe we could try before the "m" word came up. The pediatrician mentioned going gluten-free as a promising route, but I wanted to try additive-free as a first step and see how that went.

It had been about 6 weeks since I first made changes to our diet. After noting some subtle differences in behavior in just 2 weeks, I decided to join the Feingold organization and give their additive-free diet a full effort. It took weeks of mistakes, observations, tweaking, and waiting. Waiting to remove the final additive from Josiah's diet: the artificial flavoring found in his prescription-strength iron supplements. Would it make the difference we were hoping for?

The answer didn't come immediately. We had a crazy week with the county fair, face painting, paint fumes in his newly painted room, and unapproved suntan lotion (I still can't find an approved brand and decided to wait until next summer to order online). I thought I had done well changing his diet, but there were still so many places petroleum products are found, and we had to deal with those now as well. Not taking naps was not going well so we went back to laying him down in the afternoon. And then...I noticed the yummy chicken tenders I had been buying had chicken broth with artificial flavoring. After so many steps forward at first, I now had a very unhappy child on my hands. What was going on? I had read some children actually seem to go through a time of "detox" and this seemed to match the description, but there were now obviously several factors to work through.

Then on Tuesday morning, it was like a switch had been flipped. Josiah awoke happy, self-controlled, and even had some very compliant moments. I watched him with delight all day, as he played with his sister, occupied himself with toys barely touched for months, and worked puzzles from beginning to end. What was going on? Would it last?

Wednesday was the same. Then Thursday. Here we were, ready to see Miss D., his social worker. She had been very perceptive with Josiah in the past month. He walked into her room and played with her for 5o minutes. I sat in the waiting room, praying she would notice the changes.

The door opened and Josiah came running out, giving me a hug and beckoning me inside. Miss D. met me at the door.

"Leah, what have you been doing with Josiah? He's like a different boy today!" These were the very words I had been waiting for! I eagerly shared our grand experiment with the social worker, and she encouraged us to keep up the hard but good work. She noted Josiah's ability to focus, his decreased anxiety, and increased compliance. I shared with her the changes I had seen at home regarding sensory issues, interactions with his siblings, and new ways he was playing. I'm not sure who was more excited, me or Miss D. She eagerly asked that we come back next week so she could see how things were going. I'm eager to see as well, and have finally stopped holding my breath.

I feel we are blessed. Josiah is only 3, and we have so much time ahead of us. Now I can talk to him about using his words to tell others what he needs instead of using his "hits" to get what he wants. Discipline has become effective again! We can talk about obedience without hearing him say, "Jesus makes me sad" because he finds it almost impossible to obey. In fact, he happily complies (much of the time!) knowing it is a way he can trust and obey the Lord! Changing his diet at this age has not been much of an issue because I am still very much in control of what goes on the table and into his mouth. Actually, if it weren't for these changes in our family's diet, I might never have had him next to me on the stool, hugging me and saying, "Mommy, I just love to bake!"

I'm trying not to look ahead. Cold and flu season looms, along with brightly colored and artificially flavored antibiotics. There are alternatives* but it will take an honest talk with our pediatrician to make them work. When he goes to school, there are many food issues to consider: birthday treats, school lunches, craft projects using food...but we have time to work on this and many others have gone before us who are willing to share their hard-won wisdom. And Halloween is right around the corner. I'd better check out some of those natural candy store alternatives! Or try exchanging candy for a prized toy: in Josiah's case, probably an airplane.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying getting to know the little boy who has always been there, just waiting to be set free.

*Some antibiotics and medications can be compounded without added flavorings or colorings. There are other ways to get around the additives as well.